The Internet Safety Advisor knocked on my blog door today.
I thought, "What?!! What??! What have I done now?!....Is she going to chastise me for wearing my skirt too short? Losing my crown? Is my banner too big? Did I lose my G-Rating already? Clogging up the internet pipes with peace globes? What??!"
"Open up! This is the Blog Police," said the mild-mannered Internet Safety Queen aka Jace, "I'm here to talk to you about your blog, Miss Lenox."
Stand in line, I thought, just stand in line.
"What do you have to say for yourself Mimi Pencil Skirt?""Uh..well...I know I cursed in my blog yesterday but I'll try to clean up my act. It was that fiesty Ev that influenced me! She's wacko. Just ask her!"
"I've already dealt with her - big time. I'm here to talk about YOU. You and your recent shenaningans."
"You see, a blogger named Polli from some pond somewhere told me about you and your blog-kind. She happens to think..."
"Don't say it! I know what everybody thinks. K?
I'm a whining, clumsy blogbrat with a bad case of the blues. She sent you here to axe me, didn't she? Didn't she??!"
"Actually, she said you were guilty of.... and I quote,
(nobody knows the blouble I've seen. Nobody knows my sorrow...All together now!..)
"......making a huge difference to all of us and our precious children with your Peace Globe Project
and furthermore I bestow upon you this M.A.D........."
"Mad? You bet I'm mad! You say she lives in a pond? I'll find her! I'll take this to the highest blog court in the land! I'll swim the moat and cross the bleas (that's blog + sea) and pull out every strand of blonde curly ha....ha.....
"A ward?!"......."I know I've been a little out of sorts lately but there's no reason to throw me in a ward."
"No, Miss Lenox. I'm here to give you a badge for Making a Difference in the blogosphere."
"Well why didn't you say so in the first place?"
"Is there anything else you'd like to say to Polli and Mother Teresa?" (Internet Queen is not amused.)
"You're welcome, Mimi. All works of love are works of peace. Remember that. It was nice meeting you and congratulations. Good day."
"Please don't tell her I threatened to pull out her hair. I'm a peaceful Queen ya know!!!!"
"And really, Miss Skirt. You need to calm down, dear. It's not healthy."