I Spilled My Skirt

I admit it.

Queen of Memes - silly pencil skirt that I am - and gatherer of peace globes, spilled her skirt all over blogland and my neighborhood recently and what's more, I've been doing it for days.

Silence. Rain. Silence. Spill. That pretty much describes me lately. I'm a puddled mess.

My bloglegs are turning into mermaid fins. What is wrong with me??! Why....I could slap on a smile and dance a jig, tell a joke or even better, I could whip out those sardonic underthings found hiding in the folds of my tweeds and hurl a few hurtful jabs or rare back and throw a spoonful of potatoes in the mirror. Ouch. That hurt.
Or curse. I could I suppose.
Why NOT?
I'm entitled. Let's see.....*&%%$#!!! or maybe *&$####!

Do I feel better?

N.O.
Not yet.
*#@##@. So there. I try so hard to be bad. Can't you give me credit for that??! Queen wants to be realllllly bad today. Her third-person blogself is not in a good mood. Bloggingham is in shambles.
This is what has tumbled out of my zippered ruffle lately. And it's only Wednesday.......


- an entire flat of pink and purple impatiens on the WalMart floor yesterday.

Splat. Now they're flat, I thought. Sales clerk: "Why don't you go find flowers you like better than those, ma'am?"
Smart-aleck
- the coffee pot. Full of coffee. Hot coffee. On my kitchen floor
- a bar of soap flew out of my hand in the shower and pummeled my little toe. I so hate it when that happens!! (yes, Blog Queen cursed in the shower. No one heard me so it's not repentable.)
-my heart sang silliness with my best friend on the phone. We laughed, we cried and I spilled. Some things can only be splattered in a girlfriend's ear. Next time we're thinking Chardonnay and danger.
- the dirt from the pot while planting the flowers FLEW over the railing of my deck and tumbled into the yard below. Pot and all. Landing on the flowers I'd just spent an hour putting in the ground. Smushed pinks and reds are not a pretty sight. And I risked dirt under my nails for this?
- half a spice bottle of Oregano into my experimental chicken on the stove. The lid fell into the pan. So I added a half bottle of BBQ sauce to even it all out. Don't ask.
- I spilled a bird nest out of the light fixture on the porch. .Thank God the birds were on vacation. Son stops by about this time: "Mom, if you don't get that stuff out of the light globe, it's going to catch on fire."
"Well maybe the birds need a night lite. YOU did when you were little. It was so cute. Don't you remember?"
"It was blue, Mom, with Papa Smurf. And there wasn't a bird nest in it."
Smart aleck.
And I'm losing things in this mad flux I'm in.
- the trowel. I had to plant with a tea spoon.
- blog stories ~ I write 'em. I delete 'em. I write 'em. I delete 'em ...and sometimes not on purpose.
- all the messages in my cellphone after finally finding them
- more nails. Oh the agony. I broke a nail in my sleep last night, people!Damn. There goes my blog rating.- Adding to lost-things-list: PG Blog rating- Lists. I write lists and lose them.There really is nothing to curse about. And if d-a-m-n is the only four-letter word I can spell out here, then I think I need a new list of sins to play with. I'm not very good at it. But that would not befit a queen with a kingdom to write, now would it?

Now...Let me see what kind of trouble I can get into today. Be back in a cyber-flash.
Oh! And to make matters worse, I swept all the water out of the moat before I could spill it too - and then it rained. I'd better get to it before I start Waling.
I crack myself up sometimes.