Thursday, August 11, 2016

The Dirty Laundry Truth

I don't know why today has been particularly vexing. Well...maybe I do.
All God's children got problems. That's right. I said problems.

Big glaring ugly problems with a capital P.  Can we be real?  People don't want to talk about their real problems. Myself included. I'd rather you think I have it all together all the time, that my nails never break and my heart is always singing Disney songs I actually despise most Disney songs  and nobody, not nobody, leaves dirt on Bloggingham's floor. I don't want to tell you about the latest romantic disaster (he-who-abruptly-left-in-a-rude-asinine-manner) and the way I deleted my dating profile for the umpteenth time out of disgust for men in general, nor the frustrated way I war with myself over feeling guilty because I'm feeling guilty that I'm feeling guilty (did you get that?) because I might let a selfish thought waft right into the castle walls and into my heart because dammit I don't want to cuss on the blog

and be real

And then the day got worse. You can't go anywhere or read anything without people judging you or breaking off friendships based on the color of your politics or the length of your skirt. Enter sarcasm.  Enter snark.  Enter hate.  Enter division.

And just when I thought I had had enough, the universe callously reminded me I hadn't.
So I'm walking back and forth in my house today trying to answer multiple phone calls from dentists and doctors, nursing a toothache, making appointments and trying to find huge amounts of money to finance the dentist's yacht apparently and wondering all the while how people on fixed incomes survive in this economy when a couple of porcelain crowns cost more than a used car. I don't want to admit to anyone I'm struggling to deal with this. How embarrassing. Right?

A full grown woman shouldn't be worried about a few thousand dollars in the scheme of things. Should she? And why did I have to open the mailbox today and find my projected Social Security earnings for retirement summary? I don't need anymore bad financial news today!! Did you know, Bloggy People, that by the time some of us are ready to retire they might make us work 'til we're eighty??!!

Meanwhile the dentist can't see me for two weeks and my eldest and only son is having a meltdown on the phone needing his mama and mama ain't no good to nobody today.
Which brings me to the real crux of the dilemma for me:
I can't do anything about any of this. It just is.
I want to fix everyone's problem and make it better.  I'm like The.Closer.       The.One.People.Come.To.Talk.To         First.Born.Strong
I should be able to handle a little porcelain scandal, right? Knock over the cobwebs of bad dreams at fifty-something-or-other. NOT care whether or not anyone sees the dark circles. Right?
Nope. Not today.

Any one of us could name dozens of people and situations where life is really hard. I mean losing-your-children hard. Hunger hard. Jobless hard. Dying hard. Addiction hard.  Heart attack hard. Gunfire hard.
Staying alive gets in the way of life.
Have you noticed?

We live in a world where every neighbor you have on each side of the street usually IS the he-who-has-it-harder person in your life. And you just want to run from your car into the house and cover your head with a blanket and a pint of alcohol so you don't have to see one more day of bad news in the neighborhood. Or in the world.
But the truth is that some days I just can't get by with my standard other-people-have-it-worse-than-you-do-Mimi schtick to make myself feel better or more grateful. That theory took a turn for the gutter this afternoon. I wanted to roll around in it for awhile and see if it would work. But I just couldn't make it stick.

I popped this status up on social media, whining about Mercury Retrograde, and let the Universe send what gifts I knew my friends to possess. Thankful to receive them and blessed to have such friendships.  Then something happened on Facebook.

and on and on they came to my rescue....

And I was just about to call it a day when Janice said,
"If you have any leftover good thoughts, can you share?"
and that comment pushed me right over the edge to the little window I'm typing inside the Bloggingham blog. Where I belong. See what I told you? That Janice is always talking about cooking. Leftovers. Indeed.
'Cause here's the deal.
We're all in the same leftover boat. Swimming in the greasy gravy. 
It wasn't her mission today to send me a lifeline or solve my problem. It was her mission to be admitting that she needed some help too. While she was being real drowning in the greasy gravy, she also put a boot up my whiny skirt and challenged me to do the same.

Nobody likes a public drowning more than the Internet.
And I'm doing a fine job of that today.

There's not enough soap in New Zealand to clean my dirty laundry.

It really doesn't matter that I had a possessed cellphone disaster of epic proportions today because truly it wasn't epic at all. It was just piled on top of a bunch of other emotional things in the laundry basket. And I'm not going to hell because I had a huge gigantic small twinge of jealousy over the romantic trip my Canadian mon ami Dawn, is taking with her love right now to Niagara Falls.  And let's face it, nobody's going to fire me from peace globes just because I can't walk on water today.
And even though I wanted to cry a few times today over the frustrations of REAL LIFE - oh, wait - let's be real. I did cry. 
Like a baby.

And no it didn't make me feel better. It made me feel like a baby.

See? Nobody was here to hear it but Homer and he didn't want to hear it either. 

"Somebody else always has it worse than you do, Mimi. Buck up," whispered the voice of Jonathan Edwards. (look it up)

You see... the trouble with Pollyanna thinking is that Polly never gets a break. And Polly is human. She has laundry too.
Which led me right back to that cookery woman's question. Could I find a good 'ole leftover thought for her or anybody else today? And isn't that my real mission?

'Cause here's the dirty laundry truth:
We might not be able to always fix the steady diet of carpe life throws at us, but if we pay attention to what our neighbor needs instead of covering up and running in the house, we might be able to fix theirs. Isn't that what my brother's keeper means?
 I'm not going to wait around 'til I'm too old to swim in a little grease now and then. I'm gonna make a few gravy waves in the neighborhood and shake up some status quo. I'm gonna make some noise when noise needs making.  And even though I've cussed on my blog two three times today,  the point really is that the somebody-else-has-it-worse mantra only matters when it's followed by a plan to serve. Them. Not you. 

 Otherwise, I'm just greasing a squeaky wheel feeling sooo superior that I don't have their problems.  
No one should have to fend for themselves in a world this big. 
  Janice with her cookery ways and me with my words and you with your wholly personal gifts that only you can give. 
Now that's gravy. 

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Siku Marie, White Dog said...

The soul knows how to rebalance, you just have to quiet your mind enough to hear it. Sometimes that takes a tantrum. or a pity party. or a friend's gentle reminder. The Universe blessed you today.

Mark In Mayenne said...


Mark In Mayenne said...


Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...


Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...


Mimi Lenox said...

Siku - You succinctly stated what I feel this morning - blessed. You speak the truth.

Mimi Lenox said...

And FOUR hugs from Mark and Alasandra. More blessings.
Hugs back tenfold to both of you. Thank you.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Mimi, you are one of the the most positive people I know. But every now and then sliding around in the gravy sucks. I'mean glad you allowed yourself the humanity of hating it for a bit. The great thing about life is it starts off brand new every morning. Hope today is better for you.

Debbie said...

I have to agree with Sherry. Let yourself be how you really feel, even if it's only for one day. You are human you know. I do the same thing with...other people have it worse. Sending you big HUGS! Also, I've been dealing with dental issues and have to laugh at your buy a used car example. My dentist has all this high tech crap and that is why it costs so much to see him. I bet he drives a Lexus too, dag gum it!! We love you Mimi :)

Ned Hamson said...

Well, I guess it was catching this week or I passed on my Monday blues east to you. The sun comes up tomorrow but there are days that you wish you did not know what you know, or have witnessed what you have seen. So, cheers and hugs to you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sherry - I struggle with the concept of "real" in the bad times...because I want to be positive all the time..but that's not reality, is it? Life is life.
Thanks for your unwavering support. Love ya

Mimi Lenox said...

Debbie - Dental issues are the worst! I don't understand why it has to be this expensive. I'm having IV sedation soon and oh boy I am not looking forward to that. But I love pretty crowns. Why does it have to cost a fortune??
Good luck to you with your issues. UGHHHHH.

I am actually kinda relieved to write this post. It's been building with my mom being ill this summer and all the stress we've been under...something had to give.
This too shall pass.


Mimi Lenox said...

Ned - yes, I have those wish-I-didn't-know moments too. And it stinks. The sun does come up but I don't think this week has been the time for that Annie song. LOL Now it's stuck in my head...thanks!

P.S. I doubt you sent me the blues. You always cheer me up!

The Gal Herself said...

Oh, Mimi, I'm so sorry you're dealing with serious shit.

But you know, anything surrounding your head is the worst kind of pain. Toothaches, migraines. It's torment you can't escape, and it colors how the world looks.

Cellphone difficulties can make you feel vulnerable, too. Disconnected.

So you're NOT being a baby. Just a human. And all of history's most powerful and revered monarchs were known for their heart.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I ended up having two bone grafts from this craziness. I'm already electronically challenged with some sort of magnetic field in my aura. I hope the cadaver bones were from friendly and sane people. LOL

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