Monday, May 30, 2011

Monday Mimisms ~ Hairrings and Frogs (not necessarily in that order)

If I had a nickel for every crazy thing that has happened to me this week I'd be a rich woman.

I wish I could describe to you the insanity that besets my life each day at work, but that would be a breach of confidentiality and highly inappropriate. Suffice to say it is causing me a great deal of stress; so much so that I need a career change. If I didn't think I'd be standing in line at the soup kitchen soon after, I'd just walk away. But seriously. When it gets to the point that bureaucracy and lack of common sense robs you of the joy you once had doing what you do - it's time to do what you do somewhere else. I am not one to keep my mouth shut when things go wrong.  I now keep duct tape in my purse. 

Back to funny. Five seconds before I had to walk onstage to begin a performance, my right earring (this one) fell off and got majorly tangled up in my hair. I thought I was going to have to walk on with a new fashion statement: hairrings.

The engine light is on in my car and it is past time for an inspection. They turn it off. It comes back on. They turn it off. It comes back on. This has been going on for weeks. I drive it fast to "blow out the carbon" - whatever - and it does no good. There is nothing wrong with my car. It's a Toyota glitch and a money racket for mechanics. I have a note from the mechanic in case I am pulled over before the emissions test passes. I hope he believes me. If any of you are in law enforcement, please don't tell.

But the lights are blinking in the hallway. Go figure.
This house is possessed I tell ya.

Halfway through the remodeling that is still going on over two months later to fix the tsunami damage downstairs, we get almost all the drywall back and no floors. And thank goodness for that. Wednesday the plumbing upstairs sprang a gusher right in front of my eyes and poured into one of the rooms downstairs aGAIN causing another mini-disaster. My bathroom looked like this. (Oh, the things I tell on this blog)

There is water pouring into the floor, running under the carpet and I can't find my cellphone to call for h-e-l-p. I dump my purse into the floor of the kitchen. After some squalling like a baby on the phone in a panic, I finally find the actual thingy in the wall (who knew??!) that turns the water off - but not before I am soaked. That would not have been a good time for my earring to fall off cause I would have lunged down the drain to find it.

Do I look like a plumber to you? 
I'm a Queen ya know.

Shortly after, I heard a noise...a strange sound coming from behind the living room couch.
 I can hear it but I can't find it. YUUUUUUCCKKKKKKK! It's a baby froggie.  Oh no. Perhaps I really DID turn that last date into a toad. I'm hoping this is a sign from God that real frogs have shown up to replace the onslaught of male frogs I've kissed lately. Or perhaps the awful NOT cute thing just smelled water.
I never found it. I think it drowned.

But things are looking up. Yesterday I fell asleep in the bathtub.
There will be no pictures of that.  
It was not a nice experience.
Thank you, Cheetos Girl. I could use a nutritional snack. 

All in all, things are normal in Bloggingham.
Carry on. 


Ferd said...

How lucky of you that all this wonderful blog material happens to you on a regular basis!

I think you should invest in an emergency flotation device. Just in case!

Mimi Lenox said...

I like your brand of blog material better.

I'll look into that emergency device. Right now.

Mark In Mayenne said...

I hope you kissed the frog. You never know your luck :)

Captcha word is "hugloade" How appropriate :)

Charles Gramlich said...

Even as I type there is a sweet little tree frog in my back window.

Sarge Charlie said...

your comment on gracie's post made my eyes leak, i have no idea how to express the grief i feel.

Jamie said...

I've called the career counselor for you. He is the tall dark and handsome man at your door. Ignore the webbed feet, they all have them.

Akelamalu said...

Oh boy, it never rains but it pours!

Mimi Lenox said...

Mark - I wouldn't have been able to touch it much less kiss it..but now that you mention it..perhaps I should have.
Before he met his demise in the bowels of Bloggingham.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - What does he look like? That must be where my froggie went. Say hello for me.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sarge - I was stunned to read of the loss of her beautiful grandson on your blog yesterday. Gracie is so dear to me - to all of us who've read her all these years. Every time I think of it I'm so saddened. I don't know if I could go on after that....surely their lives have changed forever.
I know she has a huge faith and that will be her comfort and guide.
It is just so horrible.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jamie - I knew you'd come to my rescue.

What does he look like? Is he normal? Does he have a job? Is he someone you think would like to live in an imaginary castle with an imaginary Queen? He must be sane you know....

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - Pour is the operative word. Bwaaahhhhhhaaa

Anonymous said...

Well at least you haven't lost your sense of humor... ribbit :)

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I think you are making this all up, just so you have something to blog about!

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