The What Not Meme ~ Not That I Have Any Experience With That

Welcome to the Queen's Tuesday Meme #31

Sometimes silly.
Sometimes serious.
Always fun!
Step out of the box.
Be creative.
Use your imagination.
No one's answers are quite like yours

People are always giving advice on what NOT to do in this situation and that situation. I’ve had it with the know-it-alls this week. I’ve switched it up.
It’s your turn to be the expert. Answer what NOT to do in the following situations. It’s your spin on potential societal blunders (and a few quirky scenarios you might find yourself in). You didn't think I'd leave my quirk home now did ya?
Have at it.

What NOT To do when you’re…..

1. On a first date

Tell him you have a blog. (not that I have any experience with that)
See question #22
OR talk about your ex. Pretend you just escaped from nunnery.
It’s safer to talk about the sex lives of nuns than your ex.


2. Intoxicated
I can count on one finger the times that has happened. So I’ll hazard a guess and say….drive.

3. In the shower
Slip

4. At your ex’s wedding
Talk about your ex. Pretend you just escaped from the winery.

5. In jail
Talk about your ex. Just pretend he is in a witness protection program.

6. Being stalked
Tell someone you’re being stalked. It’s usually the stalker.
Not that I have any experience with that.

7. Stuck to an igloo
Forget to file your taxes. You could be there a while.

8. In sewing class
Forget that pesky nine stitch. It's really annoying to have to unravel an entire afghan just to sew the 10th one to save time.

9. Asleep in a helium balloon
sleepwalk

10. At a birthday party for twins
Go cheapo and give one twin the actual gift and the other twin the batteries

11. On a nude beach
Cover it with sand. Maybe it likes being nude.

12. At the opera
Fall asleep. **note** This actually happened to my dad. He fell asleep in the first act of Gianni Schicchi. He told me he woke up to see me perform in the 2nd portion of the performance but I wonder……He looked very rested.
I swear I heard a snore in the intermission.

13. you’re falling in love
Hold back. Life is too short.

14. Low on gasoline in a bad part of town
Get out and stand on the street corner

15. Having a baby
Curse your husband. Not that I have any experience with this. Ahem.

16. On fire
Blow dry your hair

17. Lost at the mall
Leave your car in a towaway zone. Not that I have any experience with this

18. At a single’s dance
Look single.

19. Riding a bike on the Jersey Turnpike
Miss a toll. You’ll be caught for sure!

20. Driving your significant other’s car
Don’t talk about your ex! Voice recorders in those toll booths ya know….

21. Being robbed at gunpoint
Try to reason with the gun

22. Kissing
Talk. I’m famous for that. (Just ask the parking lot kisser. He actually told me to shut up -but it was kinda cute the way he said it) Where did I put that guy anyway? I hope he's not reading this tonight. See question #1.


23. Paying the hotel cashier
Mention the extra pair of socks you found in the bed - that weren't yours.

24. Buying lingerie
Take your mother along

25. Commenting on a blog
If it’s a cute guy don’t pretend you are a real Queen to be funny. Not that I have any experience with this. And for glory’s sake don’t mention someone stole your diaries. It comes back to haunt you.

26. In Mimi’s dungeon
Don’t try to brainwash Homer with mutiny and escape plans. He tells me everything.
Uh huh. I know about that too.

Monday Mimisms ~ with Mimi Picasso?

She still liked blooms
even in the deepest shades

and long ago on a wild day of palettes
and
precarious strokes of unbridled
blankets
she smattered
a bit
on a
canvas

too young
to know
her work wasn't masterful

too young
to care
her work wasn't masterful

but today when she found it

hidden behind an old garage door

she liked it

she liked the unadulterated

curves of a girl

falling into shades of the deepest deepest
blue
oh what a wild mess she was
that girl
she liked the way the words brushed
the petals
and dips that go nowhere
they
should

she liked that the shades were
not shaded at all
and the table
illusive
and tilting
so wrong

and waiting

to
spill
the
vase

on the cusp of her life
at the start
when
blooms
never die

oh she liked the sway of the woman
undone
in the mind of the girl
and the dark in the part
she kept
to her
self

in a place no one saw

the sprout of
wild colors
an imperfect heart

she liked herself spilling









Footnote: My niece found the watercolor at an auction sale a few years ago. But didn't realize until after she'd purchased it and looked at the back, that her Aunt Mimi had painted it in 1970. I'd given it as a gift to a sweet lady in my church way back in the day, painted a set of oils for my boyfriend's mother for Christmas and never painted again. I miss it. However rudimentary my skills, I remember the smell of the paint and the carefree way I splashed it on - just for me. My niece wrapped it up that year and gave it to me for Christmas. It was a most wonderful surprise - for both of us!
I stopped painting after I grew up and moved away. I wonder why.
I think it would feel good to splatter colors on a canvas again.

Buds and Bouquets

My babies were dying. The crocus, the daffodils, the camellia.
Mother Nature planned a surprising temperature drop last night.
They had to come in last evening.

So I clipped and I snipped....

and got my hands dirty

To find
this bud

and that bud

and even his bud...

all over the house

Blooming...
in the morning sun

in vases

and baskets

and empty tea pitchers

P.S.

I picked 'em for you too
Enjoy

Summer Shirt

Yes

No

Maybe

Photos: Mimi Lenox

Love Me Tender, Love Me Long

This week I tried to embrace my inner Elvis. Trust me. You do not want to see this. When I said "hubba hubba" just in passing yesterday, Homer made a howling noise and went back into hiding under the bed. He may be homely but he's not stupid.

My friend Jamie, over at Duward Discussion runs a pretty snazzy meme site called Take This Tune. Each week she presents a musical theme as a writing prompt. This is Elvis Presley week. She chose "Black Velvet" (which makes me weak in the knees) and wrote a wonderful story of the first time she saw those baby blues on the big screen. It's a great post!

Truth be told, she threatened to throw me in my own dungeon write another great meme next week that would knock the Queen off her high and mighty pedestal (do I hear laughter from under the bed?) ... if I didn't play her meme. Since I can't stand that awful place and rarely go there unless I'm in a punishing mood, I thought I'd better hop to it and comply.
She's persuasive like that ya know. Do you know her?
The girl knows how to get things done.
I bow.

Here's my very first contribution to Take This Tune. I enjoyed playing, Jamie!

I'll let the King speak for himself. He needs no introduction.
My God what a beautiful man.

"Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart. For it's there that I belong, and we'll never part."

The Queen's Meme #30 The FaceTwit Meme ~ Ring My Doorbell or Else

Welcome to the Queen's Tuesday Meme #30


The Facebook Meme (aka The FaceTwit Meme)

It's a little longer than usual but I just couldn't stop in 140 words or less. Sorry.

1. Facebook has now surpassed Google in number of users and traffic. How much time do you spend on Facebook? If not FB, do you use Twitter?

I have both accounts. Sometimes I’m really into and at other times, like the weekends, I just need an internet break. But I LOVE to converse back and forth with people and chat too!

2. What is Farmville? I do not understand why people are asking me for margarine.
I’ve written to FACEBOOK management about this. It’s WHO-VILLE, people, WHOville. Not FarmTown. Not Cracker Barrel Round. Not Peanut Butter Frowns. . WHOville. (why am I rhyming?) As in WHO the heck are these people? See. They should have asked me first. That makes sooo much more sense.
BTW: I need to borrow a can of lard and a tinfoil skillet.

3. Do you war in the Mafia Wars? I do not understand why people are asking me for cows.
The next peace blogger I see playing that game is getting kicked out the peace globe gallery. You hear me?? O.U.T!

That reminds me….I need to borrow a cleaver, a bunch of fresh sage, some rosemary and thyme. Have you seen my
Bessie?










4. What is Cafe World? I do not understand why people are asking me for bullets!
I’ve written to FACEBOOK management about this. A café is not a world. Take the movie Fried Green Tomatoes for instance. Now THAT’S a restaurant. THAT’S a café. That’s a world. You’ve got your homegrown drama, your homegrown sexual confusion, your homegrown dying scene and those juicy tomatoes just hanging on the vine.
BTW: I need to borrow an assault rifle. I’m never gonna win this game without one.


5. Are you being bombarded with these "See Who Has Been Looking At your Profile - See Who Your Peeps Are?" application request lately?I don't understand why people are asking me for my photograph and that of my dogs.
I don’t care who is looking at me or looking for me. I've given up trying to keep up with where I've been. I was tagged with one of these recently. I tested it out. The pictures in my collage of "peeps who peeped at me" were almost the same as the pictures in the next person’s photo album. It seems that all God's children are peeping each other. I resemble that implication! Bogus! And the thing ended up in my photo album whether I asked for it or not. Bogus! And it didn't stop there. Nooo....Once you accept one of them you get 10,000. I wrote the person who sent it and asked them to take me off the ridiculous thing. I didn't even know we were friends much less peep buddies. (That sounds so seedy....)

If you see a Who’s Peeping tag with my half face on it, please send it back to me. I’ve been looking for the other half of my face for the longest time.


6. Which FB or Twitter applications, tags or gifts irritate you the most and why?
I appreciate any and all gifts and hugs and kisses and fleurs. Thank you very much, friends.
But I draw the line at these QUESTION TAG thingies. Someone sends out a question like “Do you think Mimi Lenox is hot?” Do you think Mimi Lenox is not?” Do you think Mimi Lenox is Mimi Lenox??!” Do you think Mimi Lenox really has a castle?“ Do you think we should just ask her? (why am I rhyming again?) Do you think Mimi Lenox eats peanut butter like common people? Do you think Mimi Lenox is a snob? Do you think Mimi Lenox should date a man named Rob? Do you think Mimi Lenox is going to heaven or hell?”
I’ve taken to answering the questions about my soul myself - just for the blell of it. BTW: I need to borrow a priest.


7. Every morning I am faced with the question at the top of my Facebook profile page, "What's On Your Mind?" Now Mr. Online Mailman wants to know the same thing. Does the whole world need to know what I'm thinking at every moment? I can't write that in a public place ya know. But if you had to answer that question honestly at 9:00 am each morning, what would you say?


8. Do you know how you became friends and followers with everyone in your list on Facebook and Twitter?
Heck no. As of five minutes ago there were 792 friends in my list. Most are made up of the 898 members of the Peace Globe movement on Facebook. SOME are my actual real life blog friends. And the others I have no clue. I used to click the little “I suggest you become friends with” button in my sidebar. All.the.time. I was click happy.

I became friends with friends of friends of friends and their friends I didn’t know were their friends who might be friends with ex-friends who used to be friends with me or my friend's friends and then his friend said why is her friend on his friends friends list....which can get a girl in trouble. I don’t worry about it anymore. I can’t avoid being in neighborhoods where I’m not welcome or wonder who's raising an eyebrow. It’s the nature of the Facebook beast.

That reminds me…I need to borrow a few new suggestions. Drats! I just looked again and I have 791 friends. Which one of you dumped me?

9. Have you ever been deceived online by someone you thought was someone else? How did you know?

Serious answer: Yes. For a time last August and September I was contacted by a man who called himself Mr. Anonymous via the comment section of the Queen's Meme. He said he'd been reading me a long time and was even a peace blogger once, quickly adding that his blog wasn't REALLY true to his real life however - that he was just pretending to have someone else's life. Okay..... He told me where he was from (supposedly) but wouldn't give me his name - yet. He said he had a romantic interest in me and wanted to make his "feelings" known at long last. He wrote along the lines of... "This is no joke. I have genuine feelings for you. I will prove it to you if you give me a chance” and on and on. But things just didn't add up. He wanted to play 20 questions.
I wanted to know who I was talking to first.
Then he started dropping names of people in my past and said he "knew" them. Oh really?
But he knew more about me than I knew he had a public right to know. Where he got his information on my private life is still a mystery and of some concern to me. It was apparent he'd been watching me for some time.
I pressed him for his name and blog.

When the conversations didn't go the way he wanted, he said he'd drop it because he sensed I didn't trust him (duh) adding that there'd be "little repercussion" for me in any case. (gee, thanks for the threat Mr. Creepy) I'm still wondering about that repercussion.

I suppose it was all a cruel joke on the Queen.
It wasn't funny to me, however. Why would someone want to attempt to hurt me like that?
I don't know if he acted alone or if more than one person found it amusing to rattle and embarrass me. Either way, his talent for blatant deception is commendable. And certifiable.
To this day I have no clue why he would do such a thing to me.
The guy is one scary dude.


10. Do you enjoy chatting via Yahoo Messenger or AOL the old-fashioned way? If so, who do you chat with most online?
I love chat features! There are several people I love chatting with.
They all have names that don't start with Mr.


11. Have you ever been contacted on Facebook or via email under false pretenses, for dubious purposes, or by meddling nosy people in general?

Serious answer: Yes. I was contacted more than once by someone pretending to be someone I used to know quite well - even down to the fabricated name in the address - and just recently someone forged a letter in someone else's name and sent it to me.
It’s downright bizarre what people will do. Persistent little posers. Don't they have jobs or something? Can't they go play in the Mafia War? Had I not realized the tone was just "wrong" and not like the person at all, I might have fallen for it and answered them. That would have been incredibly embarrassing.
Like I have time for this?


12. Think about it. We are all flitting around making bird noises on the internet. What would the PETA people say?! Can you think of a more suitable animal mascot for Twitter? What kind of sound would we make?

Clown Fish. We could all blow speech bubbles instead of that annoying tweet.

13. What kind of new cool innovative application would you like to see on Facebook or Twitter? What would you call it?

I would call it Ring My Doorbell.

Oh! They already have one. Here's the problem. I have 790....drats!....788 friends and only 2 of you have taken the time to ring my doorbell?? What is wrong with this picture?

14. Have you ever had to block someone from Facebook or Twitter?
Yes. See questions 9 and 11.

15. Do you allow your real life friends to communicate with you there or do you prefer to be incognito to the universe at large?
Do you realize you’re talking to a woman with half a face?

16. Do you belong to any CAUSES on Facebook or Twitter? If so, what makes you passionate about them and why did you join?

Click the logo to find out. Have you joined?

17. Do you know what a Twibe is?
The Peace Globe Gallery
I didn’t until we became one on Twitter. Wanna join the Peace Globes Twibe?

BTW: I need to borrow a wigwam.

18. Have you ever rage twitted? Tell me!
Anything I say before 10 am is usually rage worthy.
“Not a morning person” doesn’t begin to describe it.

19. I find that more and more people are reading my blogs on Facebook and commenting there. Do you share your blog posts on Facebook? Do you find that it helps or hinders your blog traffic?
Exposing my blog’s content - especially peace globes - ANYwhere else is always a plus. Some of the most creative and engaging conversations have occurred on the Facebook page. I love what it has done for my readership. And I’m discovering cool new people daily.



20. Wanna be my friend on FB? I have nearly 800 now. At least I'd recognize you! Don't you be foolin' me now. There's always the dreaded dungeon. I wonder if there's an app for that. Hmmmm......



P.S. Jamie, your Elvis Meme is on the stove.