Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Mimi In A Minute #19 ~ Raise The Red Flag of Courage: Tiger Would

These things keep me up at night.
They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain
so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

To Tiger Woods: Zip.

bout the Nigerian Would-Be Bomber aboard Northwest Flight 253:
I read that he checked no bags and carried on only one for a 2 week trip. Here's your sign.

To the people in government responsible for my well-being and safety: The flag is red. The flag has been red. The flag has been red many times. How many red flags do we need? Richard Shoe-Bomber Reid was a red flag. Osama Bin Blow Up The World was a red flag. Nigerian underwear scumbag was not a red flag. He was a result of not paying attention to the reds that came before him.

We don't need no more stinkin' red flags. (I know I'm going past my 60-second rant but this is important.)
There comes a time when you stop looking for signs and put action into plans of action. Anybody who calls the latest airport intelligence debacle a "missed sign" is out of touch with reality. 9/11 was a waving blood red flag.
Were you asleep that day?

That is all.

Balloon Boy's parents: Don't use your child as the cornerstone of a lie.
15 minutes of shame.

I know this isn't the same argument but many starving children sitting in hot sand and bloody streets all over the world will we have to look at before we notice a red flag?
Enough to send enough money to get them food and shelter?

Did I mention that my pencil

To the guy I had dinner with recently: Smooch.

About airport body scanners: Now we have to show our naked innards to the TSA because the world has gone slap crazy.Even royalty!! I am now going to have to buy pencil skirts without the Crown emblem sewn in for identification. I'll just start monogramming my tush to save time.

And while I'm at it and past my 60 seconds anyway....HOW LONG will it be before our naked selves "accidentally" get uploaded to the internet in some colossal "accidental" breach of online security? We have more accidental leaks in this country than newborn babies.

MEN: Take a golfing tip from Tiger.
Really. He has not forgotten how to zip.
Unfortunately, it's in the wrong direction.

Why do we need another red flag??!

Thank you to the passenger on Flight 253 who brought down the would-be bomber before he brought down the plane. We haven't heard much about him. Why is that?

Can't the media get ANYthing RIGHT??!

To the US Intelligence Agency: Get some common sense. I don't care if you have to go to WalMart and buy some.

And finally...... To the nightmare that is airport security:
It's simple. If you had a blog and a traffic widget you could keep up with people.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.


Linda said...

Oh dear, I hate to think what sort of post you'd write if you were actually having to go through airport security anytime soon! The sad thing is, the system is all messed up and every terrorist or wannabe terrorist out there knows exactly what it takes to get through security so they'll eventually find a way to get around the new rules, too.

It's a very sad world we live in when there are people out there who seem to think it's right and noble to blow up a plane full of innocent people because they believe differently or because they seem to think that the United States is some horrible monster bent on overthrowing and taking over the world.

I miss the simpler days of flying and of when people actually tried at least to get along.

Jay said...

Maybe we should all write sweet or funny little messages to the TSA people on our booties for them to see when we go through the full body scanners. Maybe it will brighten their day a little.

Bazza said...

Hi Mimi. Happy New Year from Bazza.
Do you know it's now three years since I blogged but I realy will get back to it soon.
Also, I was just listening to Albeniz's Granada from the Iberia Suite and it looks like your animated princess is playing it!
Sorry if this post is off topic.
All the very best to you for 2010.

Anndi said...

What if the Nigerian was going to a nudist colony? Although who trusts someone that doesn't pack at least one suitcase of shoes...

Bond said...

As a frequent flyer, I can tell you that there is a lot of security here in the USA...problem is he came from outside the USA and customs did not stop him

BooBs....all of them

Akelamalu said...

Great post Mimi but you kept this

To the guy I had dinner with recently: Smooch.

quiet! LOL

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I can imagine you ranting to airport security!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

I have not been too impressed with this sh!t either. How many billions of dollars go to the wars overseas and airport security blahblahblah? And Tiger, man, you were already married to the Swedish super model, what the F##K is wrong with you?

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - Strange world we live in. I miss the pre-Al Quaeda days. It was sooo much simpler. Do you realize that kids in school now have grown up listening and watching this mess since the time they were born?


Mimi Lenox said...

Jay - Ha! I'm sure it's not a picnic for them either.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bazza! - So nice to hear from you. My animated princess IS playing it! (well...maybe)
I hope you get back to blogging soon.
I miss you!

Mimi Lenox said...

Ann - You and your imagination. Ha! But you do have a point about the shoes.

Mimi Lenox said...

Vinny - It's imcomprehensible to me how this many people missed this many signs.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - What ARE you talking about??? Where did you read such a thing. Gossip! Idle gossip!

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - It is true. I saw the whole thing.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-Luc - would lock up my pencil skirt and throw away the key. Just on the blog. Otherwise, I try to be good. But there was this one time at Reagan in Washington. They looked in my lipstick tubes and mascara tube!

Mimi Lenox said...

Gary - Seriously!!

Anonymous said...

only 15 minutes of shame? how about a lifetime?

as for airport security...i'd like to see strip/cavity searches...'round my place...every saturday...otherwise send 'em all home and let the planes fall out of the sky. Maybe the rail industry might make a comeback...who said we had to have planes anyway???? Maybe we'll all slow down a bit if trips take a bit longer...

sorry...thought I had 60 seconds as well...

kathleenmaher said...

Mimi,If you remember this, you'll relate to it. For several years after 9/11, airport security involved "random checks" on people as they headed down the jet's corridor. They always randomly
One time when a group that looked like a football team raced down the corridor, while I was turning my purse inside out, flashing my passport, lifting my shirt, my tongue, and getting my hair and body patted down, I asked the guard: What am I doing something wrong? Because I get stopped every time. My son and husband who are 6'6" tall, never get stopped.
Life's not fair, honey, was her answer. Her job required her to stop randomly every 12-15 adult passengers. If I were her, wouldn't I stop those adults who weighed less than 120 lbs.?
I was about to ask about the statistics involving male terrorists vs. female when my husband ran back and apologized for me. "Don't listen to her. She just gets nervous flying."

Charles Gramlich said...

Isn't Zip good advice always?

Anonymous said...

That was an excellent rant.
My favorites:

To the nightmare that is airport security.


MEN: Take a golfing tip from Tiger.

Mimi Lenox said...

Cooper - You can have 60 seconds on my blog anytime.

Mimi Lenox said...

Kathleen - You and I should never travel together. Oh no. That would be a sight. And we might cause a scene culminating in jail time.


Good for your hubby!

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - Bwaaahaaahaaaha!

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - I just had to speak to the zipper.

Doctor Shoal said...

I have been scanned so many times that my innards glow through my doctrin` coat, so I am all good with security X-ray's.

I can tell you what a terrorist does not look like, and where he is NOT from, and what his backround isn't, but that is "wrong".
Search gramma is OK though ???

Now Mimi, I must advise you that kissing in a frozen pencil skirt is very dangerous, and hypothermia can happen quickly. You may want to stop in the office soon for a physical.

Jamie said...

Maybe we should circulate this around all the government offices since they don't seem to be able to get a clue on their own.

Mimi Lenox said...

Doctor Shoal - You may have a point there. Do you take Pencil Skirt Insurance cards?

Mimi Lenox said...

Jamie - It makes me crazy! Truly.

CrAzY Working Mom said...

...a blog and traffic widget! You're a genius, Mimi! I'd totally vote you into office. :)

Mojo said...

I saw that smooch too! And it's not the first time. Somebody's keeping secrets!

Hope your pencil skirt didn't get freezer burn ;)

Mimi Lenox said...

Tisha - Do I get a pencil skirt allowance too?

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - I hope you had a nice trip to the beach. Was it warm enough for you?

katherine. said...

I haven't read all the other comments....but I think the "other" passenger who climbed over seats and people to put out the fire and foil the terrorist attempt could have been an air marshal. Or part of another law enforcement agency.

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - You could beeee right. That would explain it.

Julie said...

Homer looks very skeery like that!

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