Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Monday Mimisms ~ Whose Bright Idea Was It To Go To The Mall?

Must be my soon-to-be boyfriend's. Did I tell you about that? Oh. Never mind. He doesn't even know it yet and we all know what a blabbermouth I am on this blog so I'll just drop it if you don't mind and I really wish you would stop asking me about him it's so rude to question me about my love life in the very first paragraph of my Monday post after the busy weekend I've had in the snow and the mall and I'm just dizzy thinking about it. PUUUhlease! Don't you have Christmas shopping to do or something?

I'd like a pink cashmere sweater.

But back to shopping.

Standing in line at the mega bookstore (can you believe they make me stand in line like the rest of society?)....anyway...I ordered a sourdough pretzel and a water. Because we were held captive in a bookstore the price of the water bottle was more per ounce than the construction cost per square foot of Bloggingham Palace. I waited while five people got their orders before I did.

An attractive man beside me started a conversation about the lost pretzel. I decided to pencil skirt my afternoon and make a scene. Lucky guy. Turns out my pretzel had been burnt to a crisp and they had to start over. Meanwhile Soon-to-be returns from the Egyptian Anthropology Section (don't ask) to find me chatting with said cute personable person who was apparently very concerned about my burnt bagel pretzely thingy.

It was touching really. Soon-to-be did not understand this at all and crawled back under his rock. Mr. Cute disappeared. I ended up sitting beside a coughing gentleman in a straw hat who wanted to watch me eat the large resurrected sourdough on my plate.
I twisted my pretzel out of there and moved.

Trouble trouble everywhere! And I hadn't even arrived at the mall yet.
Can you believe there was no red carpet greeting?
I found an antique store. I needed a breath of moldy air.

He was waiting for me.Cute, huh?
At least he can't talk, can't hurl insults, can't run away, can't hurt my feelings and dresses well.

I pick him.


Charles Gramlich said...

a pretzel and water? My goodness woman, you'll waste away.

Anonymous said...

I working on a witty response to this post...may have to ponder for a day or two.

Did you at least finish your Christmas shopping at the mall? Your loyal subjects are waiting to find out what the royal bounty will be like this year.

I made the mistake of driving through the mall yesterday. I'm not sure what possessed me, because I know better. But unlike you, I just kept driving.

Merry Christmas, Your Highness.

Tarheel Rambler said...

Fingers are not working well this morning. That was my post above.

Svem said...

Does he have batteries?

Akelamalu said...

He won't give you any trouble!

I hope you have a very Happy Christmas Mimi and a Healthy and Happy New Year.

Still sending you Reiki xxxx

The Gal Herself said...

You left out the most important information! Does he have more going for him than a Ken doll?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A good choice. He won't give you any trouble.

Finding Pam said...

But don't women always like the bad boys. They are such a challenge. I think you would fair much better with a big old bear rather than a manniquin.

Merry Christmas,

Mojo said...

You think you have problems? Just look at how they're trying to crucify Santa lately! I mean really, who does that?

So you stepped up to the plate, dug in good and solid, got your shoulders square, kept your elbow up, stepped into the pitch, led with your hips, kept the bat level...

... and hit into a double play.


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