Thursday, June 25, 2009

Mimi In A Minute #16 ~ Digital Smigital



These things keep me up at night.They give me a headache.I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep. Do you mind?
I have a few things to say.


This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.




Did you make the switch?: Don't you know it's really the government placing an embedded chip in our collective living rooms to watch us?
Didn't you read Toffler's Future Shock in high school?
('cept it backfired. I now have less channels than before)











Even the President can't figure it out. See??

To the bunny with the glasses: Tell me it wasn't the nuclear code.

To the Iranian vote counters:
All 40 million votes count.




Mark Sanford, Republican governor of South Carolina went missing this week.
All they had to
do was ask Homer.





Even Homer knows you can't get to Argentina by way of the Appalachian Trail in the Atlanta airport




To the Powers-That-Be: The world is watching for possible missile throwing by North Korea this week. This is serious business.
If I don't get my TV on soon I won't know that the sky is falling.

I'm so sorry I put myself on the Do Not Call list.
Will one of you please call me??!







To the South Carolina newspaper who "obtained" correspondence between the Governor and his mistress: Shame on you. I do not believe that private emails should be thrown on the altar of public fodder. (And besides, this should greatly strain relations with Argentina. We're in a boatload of trouble as it is. If they can't trust us with their mail, then how in the world can they trust us with their sugarcane crop!)
Please. Think of the poptarts.


To the boat carrying the suspicious materials from North Korea:
Turn around.




We're back to Governor Sanford well really it's all about me big surprise I am tired of hearing about your love life and it's only been 12 hours. If I can't have a secret rendezvous love life, nobody can!! And besides, if your wife sues you for alienation of affection we might never balance the federal budget. Politics and love are related ya know. Or so I've heard...

To now-very tired-of hearing-from-me-Governor-Sanford:
The entire world does not need to hear the details.
Really. Go.Find.A.Priest.

And while I'm at it!! Why is your infidelity apologizable to the masses?



Oh.

Digital Smigital!!!! I still have no TV. And it is interfering with my Internet connection.
I vote we reinstate the trusty smoke signals. At least I could watch The Lone Ranger.


Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening. Sixty seconds flew by.
I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.
Images: Public Domain

30 comments:

star8278 said...

I didn't notice the digital tv switch b/c we have trusty old snail cable. Nothing fancy, but it suits us and the internet is fast.

N. Korea scares me, too!

Mimi Lenox said...

Star - I now have NO service. I'm going to have to unhook it and take it back to the store and start all over again. I have better thingss to do with my time than this!

Charles Gramlich said...

Did you know they're remaking the Lone Ranger? JOhnny Depp is set to play Tonto. Maybe you could get a role.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - I couldn't ride a horse in a pencil skirt.

The Gal Herself said...

Homer is such a wise hound. Does he serve you exclusively or does he freelance? There are days when I could really use his counsel. I'll set up a nice cool bed for him under my desk I'll make sure he has plenty of water and the kibble of his choice, and I'll walk him WHENEVER he wishes. Please run this arrangement by him.

Unless, of course, he is yours by royal proclamation. Then I'll back off.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - Homer has his moments. I'll ask him about the freelancing work. Anytime you need him for free advice though, I'll loan him out to you. (He might like those kibblers and covers...he certainly gets none of that royal treatment here).

You have to walk him?

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Obama needs a better rabbit. They told him it would be a Playboy Bunny...

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - Very funny.

Autumn said...

Huh? What's all this? None of this reached the sandy hole in which I've stuck my head. Sounds like it's a good thing, too.

Akelamalu said...

I don't know anything about all this Mimi but if it's keeping you away it can't be good. :0

Mimi Lenox said...

Autumn - You don't want to know!

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - I sometimes forget that what happens in the states makes no sense to you guys in the United Kingdom!
Just send Rieki and we'll be ok....

Jamie said...

Rich, middle aged, political office holding man with sense of entitlement has a pampas pecadillo. Why is this NEWS?

Bond said...

I don't think you got TV reception BEFORE the switch over - but that's just me.

Excellent rant...please remember to unhide the kids now that you are done.

SandyCarlson said...

Mimi,
I'm trying to figure out how and why the media were all over Sanford and all those places connected to him that start with A. "Is he a sex addict? Is he a narcissist? Does he like to take risks?" Wait. No. That's the transcript of the conversation about Eliot Spitzer.

My view? The people who talk about it just aren't getting any. That could be another national crisis...

AD said...

ooohh tough read!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jamie - Well, there are several theories why this is news. But why indeed.

Mimi Lenox said...

Vinny - Oh you and Bud are just full of yourselves today! ha ha ha ha

Mimi Lenox said...

Sandy - You are a regular comedian here tonight. Ha! I never thought about all those A words but you're right. Something is afoul in the great state of South Carolina. There's much more to this story than a simple sex scandal.
Mark my words.

Mimi Lenox said...

AD - Tough world lately.

maryt/theteach said...

You've got me hysterical, Mimi! ROFLMAO! Sorry I haven't visited in a while... miss your humor! :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Mary - If you're hysterical then I've done my job today! Glad you enjoyed.

katherine. said...

remaking Lone Ranger...with Depp as Tonto?

I forgot what else I was going to say...

Mojo said...

I have to propose an amendment to what Sandy said. She's probably right about the people making all the noise about the Guv not getting any. But not all the people not getting any are making noise about the Guv. For instance, this is the first I've heard about it -- much less said about it -- and I'm certainly not getting any.
But thank you Majesty, for wrapping up all this newsworthy stuff in a tight little bow so I can catch up with all that's been going on in the world as while I've been trying to run a campaign.

Patti said...

Believe it or not I met Alvin Toffler's brother in the 70s. Woo hoo!

Maybe you could work for the State Department - you would be a great diplomat.
Just tell bad guys to go home and not bother the United States.

Desert Songbird said...

I've had satellite tv for years, so I didn't remember about the switch. I think reading the news would satisfy your curiosity about current events, and you can skip all of the Governor Sanford garbage.

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - That is kinda of distracting, isn't it?

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - Glad to be of service!

Mimi Lenox said...

Patti - You met Toffler's brother? How interesting!

And as far the State Department stuff. It really is that simple...Would you be a reference? Since you're royalty and all?

Mimi Lenox said...

Desert - It is garbarge for sure.

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