I blew into into work beebopping with a bit of sag in my swag. Long week. Lots of extra stuff to do. I needed a restful weekend. I got to work early, no less, and headed for the lounge for a nice hot cup of industrial generic brand coffee and a half cup of French Vanilla cream to start my day.
Hand on the door knob.
Purse slung over my shoulder.
"STOP!" Someone shouted. "Don't go in there."
The two ladies looked at each other and grinned.
"Maybe we should tell her."
"We have to tell her."
"You tell her."
"No, you tell her."
"She should know."
I dropped my briefcase to the floor thinking that somebody had died in the break room, or worse, the budget cuts nightmare came true and we all lost our jobs.
"What? Tell me! Whaaaat?"
"There's a mouse in there."
"EEEWWWWWWWW! ACCCKKKK! NOOOOO!"
"We knew you'd feel that way."
"How do you KNOW??" I asked.
"Because the big fat thing pregnant with rat babies ran out from under the cabinet directly underneath the coffee pot and I had to jump on the couch screaming," said my friend, with a hint of hyperventilation.
It was contagious.
Finally. Somebody with some sense.
Isn't that what everyone does when they see a mouse?
"Blasted! Blasted! Blasted!" Maybe if I turned around and went home no one would notice. Oh. Security cameras. I forgot.
And BABIES? Baby rats?
I put my head in my hands. "A job loss would be worse!" I said.
I felt the beginnings of a massive faux-migraine coming on and a Scarlett O-Hara fainting spell.
Where's the couch?
It's in the lounge.
How am I supposed to put on a good faint without a couch for Heaven's sakes?
And I needed coffee!
By this time my true blue friends were giggling and snickering. Why are they laughing? I am not trying to be funny here. This is serious!
"How much am I gonna have to pay one of you to go get me a cup of coffee?"
"You know she's not going in there."
"I am not going in there."
"No. You go."
"OK. I'll go," said the hyperventilating screamer and then,
"Maybe I'd better not go."
I was not amused.
So being the kind friends and colleagues they are, they found a cup and went INTO THE HORRIBLE RAT-INFESTED PLACE and brought me a cup of java. Complete with a half cup of French Vanilla cream.
There's just one problem.
How am I gonna eat lunch?
You don't really think I'm going in there do ya?
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