Thursday, March 5, 2009

When He Smiled

Call it a dream.
Call it a fantasy.
Or fancy it belief

But if my grandfather were standing before me today and I before him, not here, no, not here, but in that place of playful wisdom where he surely must be building something somewhere fine and high - he and I would take a walk. And when we were through I would know, oh I would know, that all the years stretched between my eternity and his are but the distance between one sure knowing wink and the span of love held tight across a narrow divide, where sometimes, like tonight, he steps off the page of my memory and we discuss the rules of the universe. If only....

Did I do all I could do with my boy
and will he be OK?

"I like his name."
It's your name.

I was fifteen. You said matter-of-factly, without a fuss and for no particular reason: "Be a lady. Always be a lady."
Did you know that those words would reverberate at the most inconvenient times, Papa?
You uttered them with a purpose you know.
"Did you find it, my girl?"

"Your purpose."

I think so.
But do I have to be boring?

Where is the love of my llife?

Did I miss him?

Have I met him? Is he looking
for me?

"In the divide.
Look closer."

What was Baby Boy thinking that day he refused to take his nap
and hid in the closet?

(ever heard a barreling laugh from the

Great Beyond?)
"That he can slay you with the same look you used on me."
That's what I thought you'd say....

And what of the peace globes?
His answer was a hug.
It felt marvelous.
I pass it on to you.

If there were just three words to give me today, what would they be?
He said
"Don't. Hold. Back.
"Got it.

And Papa, please tell me.
When will I dance again?


I'd better go before I miss it.

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.


Sometimes Saintly Nick said...


Alex the Blogging Kat said...

Yez. Whatz my hoomin bean sayed. OK?

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

He is watching over you...

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

Your connection to your grandfather is so strong and beautiful. Lovely post..

Mimi Lenox said...

Nick - Good morning and thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Alex- You are a silly cat...

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - That he is.

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - I'm sure you understand that sort of connection too. Thank you, my friend.

The Gal Herself said...

Oh, I miss my Grandpa! That's the powerful emotion your post stirred in me. I guess we're lucky to get that unconditional love and wisdom at least once in our lives and we should be grateful for that, but how we miss it when it's gone.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I often wonder how my life would have turned out had I not had his unconditional love and encouragement. He loved me just for me. Like no one else has ever done.

That feeling from him is still palpable today and is the core of everything I know in this world that is strong and true.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

What Bud said honey. He is watching over you.

Have a terrific day and weekend. Big hug and lotsa lovies. :)

Bond said...

A wise man he holds your safety in his heart and mind...and watches you and he smiles when he sees the beautiful, intelligent woman you have become...No Doubt!

Mojo said...

You know... just when I think I've got the wisecracking pencil skirt all figured out you blow my mind with something of such pure, crystalline beauty that it makes me ache.


Autumn said...

Let's see, if I could have a chat with my Oma... "Vat is wrong vit you, Outumn? Your house is filsy! Did you learn nossing from me?" *sigh* Not a whole lot of wisdom or advice in my world. Maybe I can soak it in vicariously through your amazing writing.

Michelle said...

Beautiful, Mimi.

Sarge Charlie said...

I think this a post you promised to post, am I correct?

Melody sez said...

It is definitely something to give this gal the goosebumps and at the same time crying! I think I will make it official too! I think I will go to the trophy shop tomorrow and get a plaque or something like that and make it my official "Mimi gave me goosebumps and at the same time, crying award"! Will you sign it for me?I must look into this!

Thank you Mimi! I think!


Mimi Lenox said...

Sandee - Sometimes I sooooo feel him here with me.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - What a lovely thing to say. Smooch!

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - I don't know what to say. I do love your honesty and poetic way.

Hey! Wait a minute! ME? A wisecracker? ME??! (surely you don't mean it....)ahem.

Mimi Lenox said...

Autumn - Thank you but you don't need to live through me. I chuckled at your rendition of that conversation. Very good!

Mimi Lenox said...

Michelle - Hi and thank you for stopping by.I am behind on your beautiful blog.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sarge - I think I was talking about "Katy Never Was a Jackass To Me"'s the post I was reminded of while reading your amazing childhood memories. I hope you'll read it. I'm sure you can relate to it.

Mimi Lenox said...

Melody - I don't want you to cry (with sadness) but if I gave you goosebumps then I've done my job...and Papa definitely showed up today. It was a post I saw in its entirety before I even put the first word down.

I love it when that happens.

Ricardo said...

The love of your life is out there somewhere. You'll likely find him when you are least expecting or looking. Many claim this is how it happened to them. Who knows. I hope it shakes out for the best. I don't think you have to be boring to be a lady either. there is being a lady and being a prude. Prude is boring.

Mimi Lenox said...

Ricardo - He is. I know it.

Sarge Charlie said...

The comment was in reference to the old house we lived in that was owned by a confedrate colonel.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sarge - I loved the story of the haunted house you lived in!

Julie said...

Oh make me sigh. In a good way.

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