Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tatiana: Maybe She's Evita

Will the real Tatiana please go away?

I swear. I've known some drama Queens in my time (ahem) but seriously (!) tonight on American Idol, Puerto Rican singer Tatiana Cuckoo tried to channel Mother Teresa, Whitney Houston (without the drugs) and Katie Perry all in the same song. Her hypnotically scary version of Saving All My Psychosis Love For You left me running for my own bottle of Chardonnay Love Potion No 9.
If not for the yellow and orange mess she wore, I'd have sworn she was going for Eva Peron.

When questioned about her vocal style and genre by the judges, she babbled something about all styles, all music, world music, global ga-ga, kum bah yah..
Whatever.

But really. They purposely pushed her through the auditions with visions of William Hung ratings in their dreams and now they're disappointed that she's not bubbly and giggly and weird enough for them?
Whatever.

This is a singing competition, not outtakes from backstage at the karaoke circus.
Sure she can sing. But so could at least 20,000 others who deserved to take her place in a competition that is about singing.
She's a trainwreck.
I, for one, hope her caboose is cooked this week.

I can't watch anymore witchy woman renditions sans The Eagles.

Did you notice no one would sit near her on the couch?
When Seacrest tried to get a straight answer from her she pushed the babble button and spoke in a strange tongue.
"I'm a woman. And I'm multi-faceted."
WhatEVER.

Seriously, this girl is either a brilliant manipulator or a very sick woman. (Isn't that the same thing???) I hope it's the former. I mean that. The producers would deserve it and I wouldn't have to pretend I didn't enjoy watching a person with a mental problem have a nervous breakdown on national television. I don't, really, but well...it's there. And I'm watching.

There is something de
eply disturbing about this display of .....of......display.
She is destined to have a major rampage post office meltdown in front of God and everybody and that would be sad - or she's going to win.
And that's my psychic prediction.



Suddenly, I miss Bikini Girl.














Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

30 comments:

Southern (in)Sanity said...

This is a perfect example of why I DON'T watch "American Idol."

TERI REES WANG said...

I cannot watch!...but, I'm glad you do...so I can retrieve some clarity about what splashes across the T.V. screen. She looks and sounds like a train wreck, screeching to a stop, only to be flying of the edge of a cliff and float down on the wings of a dove. Unbelievable. Frightening. Wild...and what dreams are made of.
Bless you for bearing the brunt.

Julie said...

Could Bikini Girl please NOT wear black heels with her bikini?

Tatiana *sigh* Something is definitely wrong there.

Mimi Lenox said...

Southern - You do have a point.

Mimi Lenox said...

Teri - I've always loved American Idol. I hope it becomes more about the singing than the antics this time.

Mimi Lenox said...

Julie - The heels are the only part I like.

Mark said...

It is TV and it is about ratings. They often do move people to the next round because they make good TV, not because of their talent. It is entertaining, even when one should look away.

The Gal Herself said...

I predict she will go the way of last year's more-annoying-than-a-toothache contestant, Danny Noriega. She has that same smug, self-satisfied "America can't enough of me" air about her. In addition to Mother Theresa, Whitney Houston and Katie Perry, can we add a touch of Garbo (if she even knows who Garbo was)? You can just feel her straining to be mysterious.

bundleocontradictions said...

Thank you for reminding me why I don't watch that show! Sounds painful.

maryt/theteach said...

Mimi, you got me laughing hysterically! I don't watch but I read your review... ha!

Come on over to my blog and wish Mo a Happy Birthday starting now and all day tomorrow! :)

Mojo said...

When I hear about -- or worse yet, see -- stuff like this I realize why Elvis shot his TV.

And I'm with Julie. Black just does not go with that color. Red maybe, but definitely something warmer than black.

("Got those skinny little straps around your ankles/
Got those shiny little chains around your heart...")

Okay, okay... no more Eagles covers. Promise.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mark - I would like to push the fast forward button.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - Great minds. I very nearly put Garbo in the mix. Perfect!

Mimi Lenox said...

Autumn - It has its redeeming moments. I can't NOT watch it. It's a musician thing.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mary - Glad to make you laugh! Mo is a sweetie. I'll be right there!

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - "elvis shot his TV" cracked me up. Hey! I never heard you sing before. Nice.

Tarheel Rambler said...

I'm not really a violent person, but after about 32 1/2 seconds, I would slap that girl into last week. Between her and the kid from New York who wears the headband I just get real twitchy when they're on.

Margo Moon said...

So, how do you really feel about her?

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - Laughing at you...

Mimi Lenox said...

Margo - Maybe I was a bit rough on her. She was booted off the island last night and she cried.
I felt guilty. Really!

Margo Moon said...

You big softy.

Bond said...

She is gone thankfully...but on the other side, we get introduced to people like Alexis Grace and Danny Gonkey (? sp)

Mimi Lenox said...

Margo - Ha!

Vinny - I love Danny and Alexis!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I never see any 'Idol' Bikini girl looks skimpy!

Ricardo said...

I can't tolerate the show but know many people love it for the drama of it all. And based on what you wrote about, this must have been fun.

Ferd said...

Mimi,, once again I agree with you entirely. I miss bikini girl, too.

Travis said...

Well, when there is an accident on the highway I never look. I'm just not attracted to someone else's misfortune.

So I make generous use of my mute button when people are making spectacles of themselves on tv.

I enjoy the talent portions of the AI experience. The rest of the stuff often gets muted.

Lucy said...

Hi mimi!! I So so soooo agree.
Although that bikini chick was just as sick.
did u notice how tatiana kept posing and obsessing over her hair.. she is definitely tutto pazzo!
great post mama!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Tatiana we hardly knew thee. Well actually we did. You suck.

One reader's opinion.

The Social Frog said...

Thank God Tatiana was voted off and not soon enough! She drive me mad from the minute they let her through. I was thinking she was 16 until I noticed she is 24!!!! And she says she does not act like this, oh boy! I felt bad that the camera guy kept going to her while she sobbed while Danny sang. But it created a few more minutes of in the spot light drama for miss Tatian. Good riddens girl!

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