Sunday, December 28, 2008

Monday Mimisms: Flannel and Nitrous Gas

Happy TUESDAY! has come to my attention that lately my posts are beginning to sound like Edgar Allan Poe instead of Mimi Pencil Skirt. While I do occasionally wax serious (it's been know to happen) I'll do my best to channel Scarlett O'Hara more often than Hawthorne's "Scarlet Letter" in the coming year. I'm feeling the sillies today....watch out.

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions but if I did, this is what I would cross-my-fingers resolve.

1. Get more S.L.E.E.P.
Do you see this bed?
It calls me to me.

I need to listen.




2. Be nicer to Homer.
Really. What did he ever do to me?













3. Pardon all the bloggers in the dungeon who never finished their memes and give them a fresh start for the New Year. But here's the skeery photo one more time for Travis.


4. Learn to date men who wear flannel.
I should really get over it. But really. I'm so nit picky about well-dressed men and first impressions. The only experience I've had with the odious flannel wear was one silly date a while back. Just because he was milk-toast boring and wore milk-toast brown flannel checks on our milk-toast first date doesn't mean the rest of the male population is flannel too. Does it?

5. Buy a battery for the remote control.
There is no man here. Can you tell?

6. Stop changing my shoes at red lights and throwing them in the backseat.
Yes, I really do that.
And I wonder why I can't find my shoes in the mornings.










7. Take more bubble baths.
Baby Boy got a new plastic ship bath toy for Christmas. I wonder if he'll let me borrow it.






8. Go to the BEACH.
As God as my witness (channeling Scarlett O'Hara voice) I will go to the beach this summer. I will squish my toes in the sand (are you listening, Songbird?) and build a Queen's castle, chase seagulls, make love to the sound of the surf (#9 better be Find a Boyfriend) and sit staring at the vast gorgeous water of blue known as sea - which I haven't "seeeeenn" in many a moon. I literally crave it. I smell it from here. It's like smelling snow....but better.



9. Get a peace globe to the White House.
You think I'm kidding?
I almost made it once. See?

10. Spruce up my smile a bit and be done with the dentist. It's so undignified for a Queen. They've learned to order chocolate truffles and a string quartet while I'm in the chair. Conscious sedation is my friend. Except for the awesome incredible give-me-some-more medically necessary nitrous oxide gas (and the conscious sedation drugs) I hate the dentist even more than flannel.
And he hates me.



11. Write more. Fret less. Rant rowdier. Love deeper. Sing louder. Drive faster. Dance slower.
And smooch - more often.


This is Mimi Pencil Skirt reporting live from the lovely land of New Year's Eve.
And the White House.



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Copyright © 2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

47 comments:

Desert Songbird said...

I think #8 is a fine, fine resolution, my queen. If the beach weren't six hours away from me, I'd make the same resolution.

As it is, I like #7, too.

Bond said...

Hope you had a great Christmas!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Happy Monday to you too. I like #11 the best.

Have a terrific day. :)

WillThink4Wine said...

Even when my legs actually looked that good, I never wore heels like that. Oh, my aching back! I like flip flops and slippers, thank you!

Getting a Peace Globe to the White House would be awesome!

Charles Gramlich said...

I can honestly say I've never changed my shoes at a red light.

bundleocontradictions said...

Poor Hubby & I had a goal (it'll have to wait 'til next year) to go on a cruise. My main reason: a "real" beach. I've been to a rocky, cold beach in OR. It didn't impress me. I want to go to a beach where the water looks inviting & there's sand instead of rock. Just once. So when you make it to the beach, spare a moment to see it for the 1st time for me. :)
My goal for this year: not to use any sick time or get in any accidents. Just one year w/out those would be SO nice!

Mimi Lenox said...

Songbird - The beach is only 4 hours from me. Last beach I saw was a New England beach with rocks and cold wind and New York shore in the distance. Lovely, but not the same as hot sand between my toes.

Four hours? I need to go now! What am I waiting for?

Mimi Lenox said...

Vinny - I just read your Christmas rendition on your blog. You made beautiful new traditions. Good for you! It was lovely.
Happy New Year!

Mimi Lenox said...

Sandee - And I intend to fulfill it.

Mimi Lenox said...

WillThink - I really love heels but I seriously have to change in midstream sometime....going walking....or to work...or to the mall (have to have better shoes for that shopping thing) and then maybe I'm going to a meeting and have to change back to heels. My backseat is sometimes littered with clothes and shoes. It's a curse!

Mimi Lenox said...

I forgot to tell you I change clothes in the car too.

Sigh.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - What about a green light? It's a little more difficult than a caution, but it can work.
Just sayin'....

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Good resolutions..I imagine you changing your shoes just as the red lights are changing!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-luc - You should try it!

Mimi Lenox said...

But once the window was down and my shoe went out the window. That wasn't so swift.

Shannon H. said...

I think you are much better looking than Poe. And yes be nice to Homer he has served you well :P

A peace globe to the White House is a most needed thing!

Mimi Lenox said...

Shannon - Poe was brilliantly dark, troubled, disturbed, genius....but maybe not so pretty.
Ha!

Let's work on that peace globe thing.
I'm on it.

The Gal Herself said...

For inspiration, you should watch A Hard Day's Night again. John Lennon knew how to enjoy a bath and play with a battleship with great panache. ("Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the SPLASH!")

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Stop making Homer hold up signs. And stop making him walk himself...

Julie said...

Oh Mimi! This is a great list!

Remember solid flannel really is okay....at least in my neck of the woods!

I want a new blog for the new year! I really really really DO! And Vinny was waiting on something from me to be able to help me......drat! Ya suppose I can rehire him?

Linda said...

These are all great non-resolutions and I sincerely hope you find the right non-flannel wearing guy to spend time on the beach with!

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I shall check it out and get ready to "panache"....

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - He knows how to do those things very well.

Mimi Lenox said...

Julie - I think Vinny would do anything you ask him to. Your post today was great. And so funny! I hope you get your blog mojo back on soon. We love it!

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - Well.....

tarheelrambler said...

I have the perfect solution to take care of two of your resolutions all at once. Date a nudist and then you don't have to worry about flannel shirts! Plus, if you date a nudist, the chances are pretty good he'll take you to a beach this summer. See? Two resolutions addressed with a minimal amount of fuss!

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - That is brilliant. Will you be my Bachelor Campaign Manager?

katherine. said...

yikes..too many comments....

yes...more sleep is good for many reasons!

if you decide to spend time at the beach looking at the Pacific be sure and let us out here know....Sandee had a boat too!!!!

smile.

Muse said...

bubbles baths, don't all of us have 10lbs of bubble goodies we get for special occasions? lol I take them as often as i can but sure wish i had one of those fancy garden tubs

Don said...

#1: Nice work, if you can get it...

#2: What dogs don't deserve to be treated better by their humans?

#3: Y'know, I keep hearing about this dungeon, but I haven't gotten a good look at it yet. Y'know, there are dungeons, and there are dungeons...

#4: I'd say flannel isn't the end of the world - IF he's not wearing it on the first date... Seriously, show some class, guys!

#5: I have plenty of batteries - and I'm a man! ;-)

#6: How do you find it easier to change shoes (and clothes!) while driving, rather than waiting until you arrive? And what route do you take, so I can get a good look? (insert wicked grin here)

#7: Everyone should take more bubble baths. My "close second" to that is a sea salt scrub at the spa. (Yup, I'm vaguely metrosexual!)

#8: You need to be specific on that one. There are beaches less than a half-hour from my home, but there isn't one beach in a twenty-mile radius that isn't polluted to some level. The oil slick on the water and the foul smell are usually dead giveaways.

Personally, I could go for Fort Lauderdale or Naples, depending on whether I want to swim in an ocean or a gulf (gulf waves are much calmer). Key West is nice, but no one goes there for the beaches - I've yet to swim on one there.

#8a/almost #9: Finding a boyfriend... Hmmm.... ;-)

#9: I'd wait for the current occupant to leave the White House first - he'd probably either fill it with cheap beer or use it as part of an improvised bong...

#10: Perhaps you need someone to hold your hand? (Where do I apply for the job?)

#11: I'm down with all of those. Except perhaps "sing louder". There are things crawling around in swamps that have a better singing voice than I do. Back when I was still a drinker, I would indeed have to be drunk to do karaoke - BAD karaoke... Seriously, I'd be sparing everyone's eardrums if I stayed away from the mic when the music starts playing - fortunately I have no qualms about getting to the dance floor instead...

Akelamalu said...

Those are great resolutions Mimi. My one and only resolution is to lose weight - I do the same one every year!

Last Minute Lyn said...

I agree with Don you should come to South Florida but Hollywood has a better beach than Ft Lauderdale.

All good resolutions.

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - I would love to see the Pacific Ocean. I never have. And Sandee's boat is awesome!
Thanks for stopping by!

Mimi Lenox said...

Muse - I adore them and stay in until the water gets cold. Then run more. Of course.

Mimi Lenox said...

Don - Your singing can't be that bad. Can it?
Flannel is now my new favorite word. Beaches are beaches are beaches (except rocky ones)....white sand would be heavenly. I'll keep that in mind. It's supposed to be 23 degrees here overnight.

Your replies are all valid, amusing, intelligent...and made me smile.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - We all have that one at one time or another. I power walk an hour everyday but I think I need to add my TaeBo back to the equation for awhile. It's great strength training and seriously kicks my prissy behind.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lyn - I have family in Fort Lauderdale too! Happy New Year to you!

Hahn at Home said...

That smooch one I've done already and it's not even the new year. I highly recommend it. Make sure you work on that one as soon as possible.

Star8278 said...

I think I will steal # 11 for my resolution. Love it...

And probably add, exercise more... baby makes me tired already!

Don said...

Mimi, I can't sing in a decent pitch to save my life. I'm flatter than the Bonneville Salt Flats! I'm so flat, a local airport has optioned me to be their new runway! Imagine Robocop as a lounge singer, and you're getting warm. When I sing, I actually make too much gravel in a rotating cement mixer sound good!

Don said...

I'm so flat I'm dangerously close to concave! If my singing voice had a bra cup size, it would be "pancake". Echo chambers plead for merciful silence when I start to sing nearby! I've been known to confuse airplane radar with my singing voice! It's so flat, it would fit between a pair of twenties in a bank-wrapped bundle - with room to spare! Completely and utterly two-dimensional...

(But then again, when people ask me, "What's up?," I've been known to answer, "A relative vector one-hundred-eighty degrees away from the pull of gravity in all directions, or, lacking gravity, an arbitrarily chosen and agreed-upon vector...")

Don said...

PS: I'm very glad I was able to elicit a smile form Your Royal Highness!

Mojo said...

Well ya know I'm a big fan of the beach. Hell, anybody who's ever visited my blog knows I'm a big fan of the beach. And I don't need an excuse to go there, but I'll gladly accept one. So... any time you're ready.

And tell Don I'm stealing his answer to the "What's Up?" question. That's just too good to keep to himself.

Hope the coming year is nothing but good to you, Your Grace. You've earned it well.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lori - I'm working on it....

Mimi Lenox said...

Don - Did you say you can't sing? That you're flat? Is that what you're trying to tell us??! Laughing....

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - I'll keep that in mind, my friend. Thank you.

Travis said...

Well, at least you balanced out the skeery photo with the one of the leg and the shoe, and at least something of a promise to be kinder to flannel.

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