Sunday, July 13, 2008

Throwing Myself In Front Of A Train Is An Option

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I said I wouldn't do this. I swore I wouldn't do this. That's why I am doing this. You just can't make this up.

Throwing one...two....three....grapes at the monitor.

You know, the world of midlife is dating is scary enough but when you circle round the same tree more than once that's downright insane. (Disclaimer: There are exceptions but that's in the event of a real relationship worth saving. Nuff said) I'm talking about simple dating. Casual. Nothing special. Except in this case I am the only one with enough memory bytes intact to remember. Picture this: You are having a first conversation with a potential date for an afternoon music in the park event. You discuss the details, the meeting place, the weather, the time, the guests.....and then it hits you.

I've seen this guy somewhere before.

In fact, we had been on a date - just one - four years ago from an online dating site. So I said, "Ummm....excuse me Mr. Can't-Remember-My-Sassiness but I think we've met."

Silence.

"Not possible. I'm quite sure that's not possible."

"Do you work at such-and-such on such-and-such avenue?"

"I used to."
"Uh huh."
"Were you divorced in the summer of 2002 and like to play pool?"

"Yes."

And then he changed the subject. Two can play this game Mr-Who-Dares-To-Insult-The-Que...."
I'm a Queen now ya know!
The nerve!!

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He is talking about his hobbies, his musical tastes, his children, his life events and more and more confirming what I already knew.

The wheels start to turn and I am remembering the date. I met him at his work after several emails and phone calls. I followed him in my car to the restaurant (first date protocol for meeting a stranger). He was tall and good looking. Easy to talk to but fresh out of divorce and a wee bit too nostalgic about his former married life for my tastes. Red flag numero uno. We dined and wound up at a club with great music, a fancy pool table and too much smoke. Did I mention I hate pool? A lot of his friends "happened" to be there which I thought was very odd. Then the parking lot goodbye in which I distinctly remember looking straight at him and telling him that there really was no reason to see each other again. No chemistry (I said in a polite way). Kiss goodbye which further confirmed lack of said chemistry. See ya.


And now this?? Of course, that was all before I became a queen. Why does this bother me so? I am the one who didn't like him. Shouldn't I be OK with that?


Oh fiddle-dee! He's just a guy with a very very very bad memory. Either that or he dated thirty women that month. Or perhaps I mesmerized his senses to the extent that it took him four years to gain control of himself again. That's it!
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But am I worried about this? Does this put a chink in my crown? Am I upset that her Royal Highness was apparently (gulp) F.O.R.G.E.T.T.A.B.L.E.?? Of course not!


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And not only that, it was a very uncomfortable thing. He kept calling and I kept not answering after the third time explaining that I didn't think we had any chemistry and he really needs to get over his marriage first. And now this?

So what am I gonna do? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna lock Homer up in the dungeon and sneak out on a date with a guy who doesn't remember me.


Why NOT?? Scarlett O'Hara would never miss this.


He's "checking his schedule" and we're going this week, that is, if he doesn't suddenly remember in a fit of sanity who I am. ImageChef.com - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more



I am not going to say a word until then.
And then I'm going to report back here on the blog. ImageChef.com - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more
Somebody's got some 'splainin to do. If on the off off off chance that chemistry has evolved as his brain cells depleted then I'll apologize and delete this post forever and ever amen. But I doubt it.
How could somebody forget a date with the Queen?

Don't mind me. I'll just be checking the train schedule.





Digg!

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53 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

Even today I tend to remember every date I ever had. Hum, that sounds pretty bad doesn't it. Well, yes, I guess I didn't have a LOT of dates. But I wasn't always a stay at home either.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - Thanks a lot!! Queen is not amused. Maybe he had too much Long Island Iced Tea or something. Good thing Homer will be there to take notes.

Mimi Lenox said...

This could get ugly....

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh mimi dear, somehow i don't like the sound of this...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

What Empress Bee said honey. It just doesn't sound all that good to me. Will await your next post. Have a great evening. Big hug. :)

crazy working mom said...

Yup, I'm with Bee...

Best of luck 2 ya!

Mimi Lenox said...

You know Bee...maybe you're right. After re-reading this ir doesn't. I'm trying to make a funny post but honestly I don't think this is right.

I don't think I should go.
And thanks for the email!
(I won't tell you what she said but it's not lookin' too good for this guy let me tell ya)

Mimi Lenox said...

Sandee - Thanks for the email too! Can I hire you as a detective please?

Perhaps he's someone who doesn't like rejection or something creepy like that. What am I thinking?!

Mimi Lenox said...

Tish - Thanks with your usual chipper comment. No words of advice?

Mimi Lenox said...

And in yet another email I have a big fat NO VOTE already.
Well, at least I feel loved by you guys! Thank you......

restaurantrefugee said...

Seriously, my first visit to your place - I like your style, by the by - I haven't even read any other posts and I am practically jumping through the puter screen trying to stop you from this certain calamity of a date. No good this way can come. Please for the love of all things holy, end this madness before it goes further.

Mimi Lenox said...

restaurantrefugee - Welcome to my world. But seriously, tell me what you really think.
Oh.
You did.

It really isnt a good idea to go on a date to prove a point and get a blog story now is it?
I think not.

But what an interesting turn of events in the land of the dating queens. Still throwing grapes at the monitor....
And thanks for giving me your advice. DO come again. I'm not usually this silly about serious things.
But then again, maybe I am.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

This is intriguing! I can hardly wait to hear what happens.

Mimi Lenox said...

Nick - Neither can I!

Deana said...

No way someone could forget a date with you. He is bound to have been on medication or is insane. Be careful.

Mimi Lenox said...

Deana - Thank you and strike four (or five) for this date ever taking place. But what a weird thing huh?

Lee said...

Your Highness, if I might be so bold...ARE YOU NUTS??????? This guy didn't forget your first date. He's trying to convince you because he DOES remember. He's probably been stalking you all this time, just waiting for the right time to pounce. Run fast, run far, run, run,run away from this guy.

By the way, you might be interested in my post for today. :0)

Daisy said...

I agree with Lee. He did not forget you, he just does not want to let on because he has been pining away for you all this time.

Hahn at Home said...

Mimi, Mimi, Mimi...you know that this just isn't kosher. Only lesbians revisit the same territory. Don't do it!

But, feel free to ask if he has a single sister for me, k? You did say handsome, right? Genetics are a beautiful thing.

Akelamalu said...

Of course he hasn't forgotten you, he kept calling last time didn't he? He like you, he's stalking you! Get out now while you can.

Akelamalu said...

PS tell him you're coming to Greece with me! ;)

Margo Moon said...

Lori is so right. I was just about sure this guy might be a lesbian.

Jeff B said...

"Will date for a blog post." is not a good slogan for a queen. Unless you remember some potential spark, I'd say to let this one go.

Chuck said...

OK. The guy was clearly inebriated with your beauty (though you were short one crown). Simply channel Scarlett and adorn your head appropriately and all will fall delicately into proper order. Don't even think about not reporting back. We all patiently await. *lovies*

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - See Mimi run.

Mimi Lenox said...

Daisy - You have such wisdom for a kittie ya know. However, I don't think "pining" had anything to do with it.....

Lori - Of course it isn't kosher. That's what makes it so insane and intereseting. And about that sister.....genetics are also linked to insanity ya know.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - Just what I need. A stalker.

What shall I pack? I'm ready to go now. I've had enough excitement at Bloggingham for one day...Greece sounds perfect!

Mimi Lenox said...

Margo- Revisits are not exclusively lesbian territory. There is a question here of motivation. His. And really. What a jerk.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jeff - Going going gone.
Blog posts fodder is not a good idea alone, no, but it was an after thought. Fleeting as it is.
Gotta tame that bit of curiousity that gets me in trouble sometimes - blog post or not.

Mimi Lenox said...

Rhonda - Scarlett! Why did I think of that??!

Mimi Lenox said...

You know guys - sometimes I think out loud on blog paper as you well know, attempting to use humor (and Homer)to make things interesting and pencil skirty. But what this proves is - once again - how my blog friends have an uncanny ability to read between the lines and more importantly ...care.

Thank you.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Having just gone thru a similar thing shows how personal on line dating is...

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud Personal and scary...

Patti said...

I'm also casting a no vote. This does not sound good, Your Majesty.
No, no, no.

I also read between the lines here, Mimi.

Mimi Lenox said...

Patti - And so you do, my friend, and so you do.

Dating at Forty said...

Mimi - just discovering your blog (am hooked already!) and I can already tell you are FAR too fab to waste your time on this dodo. Once a bad date, always a bad date. I'm with Lee: RUN!

Ferd said...

Yikes! The Queen's indiscretions will be making front page again! Difficult times for we image control spin doctors. God Save The Queen's ass after some royally poor judgement.

"Crazy" is repeating the exact same thing, hoping for a different result.

But maybe I'm missing something. Tall and handsome. Revenge? Murder???

Can't wait for Homer's post.

Mimi Lenox said...

Dating - Thank you kindly O Sage One for the vote of confidence. I will stay tuned to your wacky and highly entertaining blog for further instructions.
Dating is crazy!!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - MURDER??! Revenge??! Dr. Spin-Ferd you are royally scaring me.

Discretions? ME??! I never knew I was so controversial. But hey! About that spin...I may need to hire a good PR person after this.
Or not. Homer is pretty good about keeping me out of trouble. He is up for the task.

I hope.

Ferd said...

I was thinking Tall and Handsome should be the one who is royally scared. Forgetting the Queen actually does deserve some sort of punishment. But you don't have to do it yourself. Delegate! You have an image to uphold!

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - I'm thinking of delicious punishments as we blogspeak. I'm sure there is a willing meme dodger somewhere in the dungeon who would like to get a reprieve from my wrath.

I don't think Tall and Handsome knows what he's dealing with here.....

barbara said...

Hi Mimi,
Hoping that summer is coming along fine for you.
My first reaction : "how could someone NOT remember you ?". Just not possible !!

I'm out of all this since ages so I have nothing more to say except keep your common sense... and your crown on at all times !!

Hugs xx

Bond said...

GO GO GO GO GO....

Eat really really well...

And then tell him g'bye...

But that is just me

Jean-Luc Picard said...

This is excellent Queen Mimi! I can envisage only trouble here!

Mimi Lenox said...

Barbara - How sweet of you to say. I will always remember to wear my crown!

Bond - Ha ha ha...right.

Jean-luc - Trouble is excellent?! I don't think this is the kind of trouble I need, my friend.

Shannon H. said...

That dude is scary! How dare he forget you? You should go but proceed with caution!

Mimi Lenox said...

Shannon - Scary is right! That's 2 votes for GO and zillions for NO. I think I'll go with the latter.

Linda said...

Your Majesty, you should have smacked him in the head with your scepter and left it at that! The nerve of the peasant to have forgotten you! What a royal jerk!

Hammer said...

Weird I remember every date I've ever been on.

Julie said...

Well...it's a good thing that I read this before you deleted it! But then did I really think you WOULD delete it? Nah....

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - I should have done that right off the bat. I need to put you speed dial for such situations.

Hammer - I've been hearing that a lot lately...

Julie - Not yet, Julie, not yet.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

He got a kiss from the Queen??? wholly ****! He remembered you alright .... probably just trying to be Mr. Cool.

Your blog is like a harlequinn romance novel with pages scattered all over the place.

J/K :-)

Missed you Mimi, thanks for some laughs here today!

Eric

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - Good to see you again. And glad to make you laugh.

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