Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Pink Christmas In Bloggingham

Christmas and divorce do not fare well. At least, that has been my experience.

You lose traditions that once fused your life into a neat little holiday package. With the stroke of the magistrate's pen your life is rearranged in huge ways and a million small nuances suddenly have nowhere to live. Sorry, lady. You just lost the right to congregate with unwelcome relatives from both sides of failing marriage, fume, fuss over Christmas scheduling, pretend there is a Santa Claus even when your child is eighteen, attend company parties and do the couple thing, watch your husband crawl around the roof and hang lights on the dormers,and share a burnt Christmas turkey with a family who dares not notice the meal looks like blackened cajun poultry. You just lost the aforementioned priviledge to make memories with said missing family.

Bad memories, good memories, sad memories, wonderful memories.

Forever memories.

Two signatures on a single piece of paper doth not erase a lifetime of holiday imprints.
You do, in essence, sign away your tradition.

Christmas and New Year's is not an easy time to be single.

So, the first year I was faced with staring at the family-made Christmas tree holding over twenty years of memories and baby boy designed ornaments with tiny little handprints in white plaster and his smiling baby face in a tiny little ornament frame, I decided to make my own holiday ambience. To celebrate my independence. To express my personality.
To disengage from "we" and fully embrace "me."

Time to make new traditions.

Today I opened the box and took in a familiar aroma. Pink Christmas.

My Christmas.

A box full of a memorable shopping trip I took one cold December day four years ago - all by myself. My mission? Reinvent a lifetime of togetherness known as Christmas with the family..... into Christmas with me.

I had to make a new Christmas.

I needed a new tree, a new color, new bobbles, new adventure, unorthodox frivolity, joy, beauty, handpicked reflections of the soul I had become....... and for Heaven's sakes, no red and green.

Prissy things. Purses. Frilly lamp ornaments. Perfume bottles. Lace. Pearls.

Elegant ribbons. Gold-trimmed velvet balls. Beads.

Lots of crystal and fluff.
Phermones and single girl memories.



Secret sacredness full of me.

To honor and preserve the ornamental scrapbook of my married life for my son and grandson, I hung the old ornaments on a "past" tree. I still have a blue-trimmed tree in my piano room with the family traditional ornaments from my once-married life, a totally crystal ornament tree in my boudoir with tiny white lights, a small multi-colored 3 foot tree in the corner of the kitchen, a red and gold tree downstairs with the chimney stockings (near the dungeon) and then there's.........this.....

Pink Christmas. In my living room.

With candles and twinkling clear lights in unlikely places.

Four years after divorce and I am experiencing yet another holiday without a significant other. Three of the last four have been the same. No silly stockings full of intimate secrets and no candlelit moments making out errr.....opening gifts under the tree giggling on the floor politely sipping eggnog listening to Bon Jovi Bing Crosby in your specially shopped for Christmas nightie with white fluffy sleeves proper little black pencil skirt and matching knee-high leather and suede boots with 3-inch heels boring pumps.

Sipping white wine.

I'll be wearing my pencil skirt, mind you, but in all probability, pouring a glass for one.

But that's OK. I am ready.
Good thing I made that solo shopping trip.
My sister and I also took a wonderful Christmas trip to the Biltmore House in Asheville, North Carolina the first holiday I spent alone after my divorce. We found these gorgeous crystal bell ornaments. They are large, intricately made, pure, simple, sparkling.....reflecting the lights inside and out like a prism.
They remind me of grace. Authenticity. And new beginnings.

These will go on Bloggingham's door.....lighted and ready for a new adventure in a new year with a new person.


Bond said...

This is my first ... no Matt at all... so sad...but I wil have my brother, SIL and nieces... but ... no Matt

Sad...but looking forward to beginning new traditions

barbara said...

Hi Mimi,
You were so right to start your own traditions and to think of yourself.
Christmas is a delightful holiday, but can be so heavy with all types of family memories and reminders of Christmas past.

Expats have that too. After all, leaving one's country is like a sepration. And Christmas can be hard.But, I survived and you will also... in beauty :)

Giving you one of these:
((((((((((( ))))))))))))

Happy Holidays, dear Mimi.

Travis said...

New traditions for yourself are fun to start. There are several things I still do just for me.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Beautiful Mimi. You do what I do. All one color theme. This year is red for me on a flocked tree. Tis beautiful. I love all of it especially heading into the new year with a new Have a great day. :)

Lee said...

It's funny, but my Christmas traditions have changed several times over the years, and it's to the point where I have trouble remembering what they used to be.

I have a few that I would like to start if circumstances were different.

Thanks for a glimpse into your life, Mimi. You really have a knack for putting things into perspective.

Tar Heel Ramblings

Jeff B said...

This time of year can bring out so many emotions in our lives can't it? I hope these new traditions, done Mimi style, bring you much peace and happiness.

Akelamalu said...

Whatever your Christmas Mimi, I hope it's a happy one hon.xxxx

Bond said...


Anndi said...

This is my first Christmas without Mom... I did the same thing.

We go through mourning periods and for our sanity, we must find ways to cope.

The Mimi ornaments are beautiful... of course they are, Mimi is a beautiful person, a lovely sweet and caring soul.

Last year, my whole season was wrapped up in making sure Mom wasn't alone.. I think this year she's the star on my tree.

Love and Peace Mimi...


(Oh, Chicklet is going to squeal when she sees these pictures... pink is her signature colour!)

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - The day will come when your Matt will bring all his children to your house and your life will be filled with grandchildren and new traditions. I'm sorry you're sad though. Some years are just strange like that. I know the feeling!

Barbara - What a kind thing to say. Thank you.
I will more than survive as I swim in a sea of pink.

Colin - Your daughter's ornament memories sound nice. I have a baby boy's face in a baseball uniform that melts my heart everytime I see it. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Travis - Good for you. You're right. Traditions don't have to be about a whole tribe. They can be about one just as well.

Sandee - I'll bet your tree is beautiful. I do like color themes and other types. One year I had a tree with tiny little musical instruments all over it.

Lee - Thank you and good luck with your new ones.

Jeff - Peace and happiness to you and your family.

Akelamalu - Thank you, my friend from the UK. I need to catch up on your blog and see what groovy things you've been up to lately. I'm so behind. Be there soon! Are there cookies? Carols?

Bond - Merry Christmas!

Anndi - This will be a hard Christmas for you I know. But you do have a way of bringing her with you in whatever you do. "The star on your tree..." Lovely thought, my dear.

Merry Christmas to all!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

I heard that you were a "pinko" when you started peace globes. But I never knew why they said it. You are too much!

One Wacky Mom said...

Congratulations my friend...I am duly proud of you!!!

Just gorgeous...beauitful. What a wonderful Christmas holiday it looks to be...and it will be!

Carver said...

I think you were so smart to start new traditions. I know how hard a divorce can be. My ex and I have reconnected but I'll never forget our first Christmas after we were divorced. It was wrenching. I think your method of coping with it was perfect.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - I guess that explains it. I am definitely "in the pink" around here.

Ev - Maybe I should drink pink champagne too? Whaddya think?

Carver - It is interesting. And brings up all kinds of nostalgic feelings and memories. But internal adventure can be satisfying. Pink is soothing. I need a pink bath, I think. Ahhh.....

Patti said...

Beautifully written, Mimi. And what fun to have a pink Christmas...
I love pink.

(I think I should have been reading these posts this morning from the bottom up, but it's too late I guess)
tee hee

holiday hugs to you ~

Mimi Lenox said...

Patti - Hugs back to you! Pink it is and will be.... even when prince charming comes along. I'll stick that pink tree somewhere in the castle to remind me of these days. And then I'll start another tree - just for us.

Patti said...

You are quite a festive queen

crazy working mom said...

May you have a beautifully pink Christmas, Mimi. I'll have a glass of wine with you. :)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

wow, blogingham palace sounds lovely this year my friend! we just have our (fake) palm tree and i haven't put a single thing on it! ha ha

but i will get a nap and i did have a lovely week so i am very happy, and the phone call put it over the top!

smiles, bee

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