Just for a day.
You see...... Sanni from Coffee2Go has bestowed upon me the coveted Blogging Princess Award. Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen? She is perfection if I ever saw it with that sassy flair and style.
Sweet Sanni says I'm a Princess and awarded me this crooked crown to go with my deficient profile. What luck! She must have shopped all day for this crown. It doesn't itch like my Meme Queen Crown. I love it! So I've decided to be a Princess and take the day off as Queen (that does not excuse those I tagged yesterday. Yes, I'm talking to you Dan, Lizza, Diesel, Annelisa and Ev). Since I'm not the Queen today I can cheat on the meme rules. Oh joy!
Ev The Wonderful Wacky Mom tagged me with this Ten Things I Really Hate (about Mimi Queen of Memes) meme. I added that last part ya know. Today I've been a bodacious bratty Princess and took secret photographs of Queen Mimi's castle and her scandalous life. This dirt is dirtier than dirt.
I, Blogging Princess, witnessed these events firsthand today in Bloggingham Palace. I've got to hurry. I turn into Jill Hennessy at midnight.
1. Her bottles. She has at least thirty under the bathroom sink. All shapes and sizes of fancy formulated smells and concoctions she thinks makes her look younger. I've got news Miss Priss.
It just ain't workin'.
2. This morning a nice old lady from the retirement home came to the door begging for cans of food for the annual Bloggingham Feeds The Poor Meme Carnival. Queen High and Mighty didn't like her tag structure and threw her in the dungeon!! Annnnddd all the pork 'n meme cans she'd collected went flying down the stairs with her. It was a sight. She put the mean in meme.
3. This is where Miss Priss blogs.
The only time she is not in this chair blogging is when she's in the powder room reapplying her lipstick. We're all sick of it!
4.Her dog doesn't even like her. This is what he told me today while the Queen curled her hair for the umpteenth time. " ......and I hate this mugshot. My mom is so ashamed. Why did I have to land in a crazy Queen's courtyard?"
5. She goes out into the woods all the time. Why? Nobody knows. What kind of woman visits trees and rocks for hours? When she comes back she's not even sufficiently uncoiffed to arouse suspicion. Something is amiss. You know she's not up on that mountain communing with nature all that time. So I followed her today. Do you know what she was doing?
She was on the phone with Bobby Griffin demanding a recount of the Bestest Blog of the Year results. "I've had all these bloggers tied up in the dungeon voting for me for days and I placed sixteenth??!! And not one vote for Mimi Writes!" I heard her say. "What kind of random rig do you have rolling over there pipsqueak? I am not amused!!" "But Mimi," said Bobby, "your blog wasn't even nominated."
6. After that she was comatose. So she did what she always does when she doesn't get her way. Out in her Queen chair, talking to the birds in the birdhouse. They don't give a princess' patootie what's going on in this castle. They just don't want to get eaten for dinner. Sometimes she even talks to paperclips.
Nobody else will talk to her.
7. There are at least twenty-five bloggers in the dungeon now. Haven't you noticed Gem-osophy is missing? Nobody's seen Gale Martin for days! She says she's writing a book but the truth is she's trapped in Mimi's dungeon with nothing but blogbread and blwater. Why do you think her book is called Savage Grace? It's about Mimi! Wake up and smell the bloffee.
Haven't you noticed the flurry of bloggers mysteeeerrrioossly going on vacation all of a sudden? Pay attention when they start to blog again. You'll see signs of brainwashing and malnutrition. Queen eats cheesecake and cheese doodles all day. What do they get? A royal whack on the head from you-know-who. I hate her!!
8. Ever since she won those Rockin' Girl awards she thinks she's Prince.
If I hear Purple Rain one more time I'm going to scream. And now she's reading The Book of Mormom. I can't take it anymore!
9. And why do you think she only shows half her face? Because in reality she looks like her great ancestor Mary Tudor. That's right.
Get your memes done, folks. Just get your memes done.