Thursday, August 9, 2007

Now I Lay Me Down My Crown (A Dungeon Disaster)

Just for a day.
You see...... Sanni from Coffee2Go has bestowed upon me the coveted Blogging Princess Award. Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen? She is perfection if I ever saw it with that sassy flair and style.
Sweet Sanni says I'm a Princess and awarded me this crooked crown to go with my deficient profile. What luck! She must have shopped all day for this crown. It doesn't itch like my Meme Queen Crown. I love it! So I've decided to be a Princess and take the day off as Queen (that does not excuse those I tagged yesterday. Yes, I'm talking to you Dan, Lizza, Diesel, Annelisa and Ev). Since I'm not the Queen today I can cheat on the meme rules. Oh joy!
Ev The Wonderful Wacky Mom tagged me with this Ten Things I Really Hate (about Mimi Queen of Memes) meme. I added that last part ya know. Today I've been a bodacious bratty Princess and took secret photographs of Queen Mimi's castle and her scandalous life. This dirt is dirtier than dirt.
I, Blogging Princess, witnessed these events firsthand today in Bloggingham Palace. I've got to hurry. I turn into Jill Hennessy at midnight.

Ten Things I Really Hate
(about Mimi Queen )


1. Her bottles. She has at least thirty under the bathroom sink. All shapes and sizes of fancy formulated smells and concoctions she thinks makes her look younger. I've got news Miss Priss.
It just ain't workin'.

2. This morning a nice old lady from the retirement home came to the door begging for cans of food for the annual Bloggingham Feeds The Poor Meme Carnival. Queen High and Mighty didn't like her tag structure and threw her in the dungeon!! Annnnddd all the pork 'n meme cans she'd collected went flying down the stairs with her. It was a sight. She put the mean in meme.


3. This is where Miss Priss blogs.



The only time she is not in this chair blogging is when she's in the powder room reapplying her lipstick. We're all sick of it!



4.Her dog doesn't even like her. This is what he told me today while the Queen curled her hair for the umpteenth time. " ImageChef.com - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more ......and I hate this mugshot. My mom is so ashamed. Why did I have to land in a crazy Queen's courtyard?"
5. She goes out into the woods all the time. Why? Nobody knows. What kind of woman visits trees and rocks for hours? When she comes back she's not even sufficiently uncoiffed to arouse suspicion. Something is amiss. You know she's not up on that mountain communing with nature all that time. So I followed her today. Do you know what she was doing?
She was on the phone with Bobby Griffin demanding a recount of the Bestest Blog of the Year results. "I've had all these bloggers tied up in the dungeon voting for me for days and I placed sixteenth??!! And not one vote for Mimi Writes!" I heard her say. "What kind of random rig do you have rolling over there pipsqueak? I am not amused!!" "But Mimi," said Bobby, "your blog wasn't even nominated."

6. After that she was comatose. So she did what she always does when she doesn't get her way. Out in her Queen chair, talking to the birds in the birdhouse. They don't give a princess' patootie what's going on in this castle. They just don't want to get eaten for dinner. Sometimes she even talks to paperclips.
Nobody else will talk to her.


7. There are at least twenty-five bloggers in the dungeon now. Haven't you noticed Gem-osophy is missing? Nobody's seen Gale Martin for days! She says she's writing a book but the truth is she's trapped in Mimi's dungeon with nothing but blogbread and blwater. Why do you think her book is called Savage Grace? It's about Mimi! Wake up and smell the bloffee.
ImageChef.com - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

Haven't you noticed the flurry of bloggers mysteeeerrrioossly going on vacation all of a sudden? Pay attention when they start to blog again. You'll see signs of brainwashing and malnutrition. Queen eats cheesecake and cheese doodles all day. What do they get? A royal whack on the head from you-know-who. I hate her!!

8. Ever since she won those Rockin' Girl awards she thinks she's Prince.
If I hear Purple Rain one more time I'm going to scream. And now she's reading The Book of Mormom. I can't take it anymore!
9. And why do you think she only shows half her face? Because in reality she looks like her great ancestor Mary Tudor. That's right.




The ugly does not fall far from the tree.



10. I just heard crying downstairs. I've got to scoot. When she finds out there's another princess in her castle my pumpkin is pickled. I smell smoke coming up from below. Better run....Here she comes now!
The personification of evil she is.

Get your memes done, folks. Just get your memes done.

22 comments:

Bond said...

LIES LIES LIES ..all lies.... we have an escape mission planned and will be executing it ...well.. if we tell you, then you might thwart it...

One Wacky Mom said...

OMG...THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! You really do rock! Now listen Queen or Princess..I will do my meme, but as you know I have 10 pages due to the big boss...Ron Powers and a meeting with Sam Horn today...so you gotta cut me a break. Now besides that, I actually have to make a living!

YOu have me ROTLMAO!!!!! Aside of from the work stuff...the4n I have I do mom stuff...any reason why I call myself the WACKY MOM????

yOU ARE HILARIOUS MY FRIEND..I LOVE THESE PICTURES!!!!!

The truth is you probably missed me this week!!! LOL...I am!!!

Turnbaby said...

TOO FUNNY!!!

YAY I can comment again!!!

WOOOOOO

FoxxFyrre said...

Ha Ha!
Me hast got in, finally. Phew! While many arst? planning escape routes from Bloggingham Dungeon, thou merely discovereth Java Scription Errless way to 'neak in the back of the castle.
Now that thoust-truly can come and go at will, thoust shalt scribe little serf pearl wisdoms uponst? thy walls.
On the morrow fairest Princess Queen, or is it Queen Princess.

Linda said...

Frank's comment hath confuseth me!

This dungeon thing is really taking off, I absolutely love it! I also demand that you release Gale immediately if not sooner as I miss her over at Gem-osophy! Either that or you can get her a scribe to do her writing for her while she dictates from the rack or the iron lung or wherever it is you have her stashed!

Do not make me come down there and straighten out that crown of yours!

Akelamalu said...

Your Majesty, Highness, honour, whatever - You're too funny! Congratulations on your award!

crazy working mom said...

I am wiping tears from my eyes I was laughing so hard. Good job, Mimi! :)

Patti said...

The princess speaketh...I hide undereth the bed.
I am a bit frightened to return here, lest I say something wrong. And end up in the dungeon.


P.S. (if that's OK) I don't really think Mary Tudor is ugly. I'd venture to say she looks rather sweet.

grasshopperkm said...

So much fun, Mimi. I'm such a pauper. This is as good as I've gotten in a long time.

JHS. said...

That is hysterical!! The poor little doggy! Send him here . . . he can live with Buddy and Sophie here in the Homestead:

http://jhsiess.com/2007/08/09/fridays-feast-155/

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - I'm on to you. There will be no revolt. I have the key.

Mimi Lenox said...

Ev - Do you really expect us to believe that you are hobnobbing with Pulitzer Prize winning authors? Oh PuuHLEEZE....This is the best excuse I've ever heard for staying out of the dungeon.

Truth is you ARE. And I want pictures, my friend, and the whole scoop when you get back from you-know-where.
And I am so jealous!!!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Turn - Glad you enjoyed!

Frank - What did you say?

Linda - I dont' know what he said either. But I think he'll be back "on the morrow" to tell us.

Diesel said...

My head hurts. What am I supposed to be doing?

Paper Fan Club said...

Oh my goodness, I'm glad I found this site. Your memes are simply brilliant in their wittiness, charm and sarcasm. And the corresponding pics just adds to the whole package. One great blog you've got!

FoxxFyrre said...

Tee Hee!
My 'Ole English' isn't what it used to be. Should have payed more attention to Chaucer in school. I was just so tickled to get back on your blog without a Java Script error locking the page up, I can now get back into the castle and leave little messages on your dungeon walls. I'm in, I'm in.
Hmmm, I don't see Gale in here anywhere.

gem said...

Mimi, You nailed it. I've been such a killjoy lately because not only am I trying to finish this $%#@ book, I'm taking an accelerated writing course where they squeeze twelve weeks of lessons into six. I promise, if this book gets published, I'll have a soiree to beat the band, right in your ole dungeon. Chains optional.

Travis said...

I may have to start blogging from an undisclosed location in order to avoid being thrown in the dungeons.

Wait...did you hear something? I think there might be someone at the door.

Oh no!! It's guys dressed in some kind of armor and they have shields with the Bloggingham crest on them. It may be too late for me.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - Thank you!

Crazy Working Mom - If you are laughing that hard then I have done my job today. Sigh. I just wish I had a blogging job instead of a real job.

grasshopperjm - You are no pauper. Thanks for visiting. Always great to see you.

JHS - You know how I feel about your writing. I so respect it. If I made you laugh then I have accomplished something today.

Mimi Lenox said...

Patti - I really shouldn't have picked on Mary. I will apologize to her as soon as I see her.

Diesel - Wake up and smell the meme.

Paper Fan Club - Thank you! I will check you out. New friends are always welcome here.


Frank - I have sponges ready for you to scrub the walls!

Mimi Lenox said...

Gem - Can't wait for the party. You will have deserved it. No chains.

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - LOL. You know, what makes this so much fun is that everyone gets involved in this strange castle fantasy. Our collective imaginations are lethal.

And hysterically juvenile.

Hence, I blog.

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