Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Operation De-Bachelorization (UPDATE)

UPDATE: Since I posted this yesterday, the bachelor has rebutted. And rightly so. You can read his response on his blog.  I've got some 'splaining to do.

"I forgot to tell you I'll be home late. I have a meeting at 5:00."

Perfect! I am thinking. I'll miss you, I said.
Kiss goodbye, pretend asleep, the door latches. One more snooze just in case he forgot his IPod. Silence. The car starts.
I spring out of bed.
It's Operation Debachelorization Day in the tape radio studio.

Some things are sacred. I've marked them. But honestly, how many things with Budweiser engraved on it can one have? How many do you think the infamous DJ has? Don't ask. Just don't ask.
This is no easy task, folks. These things must be done delicately (said the wicked witch of the East just before she plotted to kill Dorothy) I hope Boyfriend remembers - and recognizes - his 'no place like home' when he gets home. I forgot my hot air balloon.

On the Do Not Touch list: Anything remotely resembling The Beatles

anything remotely resembling John Lennon, anything remotely resembling the Yankees, anything remotely resembling an immortalized can of Budweiser (I've never seen him drink beer but that's beside the point), anything within 3 feet of said Budweiser beer motif including dust particles, anything with UCONN or Huskies lettering, anything remotely resembling a Smirnoff bottle shall remain stationary and upright at all times, anything remotely resembling Boyfriend standing with a celebrity or autographed thereon, anything remotely resembling forty years of photographic memorabilia of his tape radio and DJ career, anything remotely remotely resembling the semblance of any of the above.

That left exactly 3 inches of his place for me to redecorate.
Oh how he underestimateth my pencil skirt.

In his defense, he has been a bachelor for a long time. From where I'm sitting now, in said sacred studio, I can see seven works of art depicting a variation of Budweiser beer or UCONN basketball or a clever combination of the two, there are 24 framed photographs depicting forty years of said Tape Radio station,
and to my left walk John, Ringo, Paul and George across Abbey Road - see pic above (well...that one's my fault since I gave it to him.)

And that's not counting five DJ microphones and four huge black leather chairs around the sacred round studio table. We've already "discussed" the chairs.

I did not fare well in this discussion and the power of my pencil skirt was to no avail regarding studio chairs. They're black. They're big. They shall remain indefinitely in place and wait for invisible DJs to appear. Got it.

Let us pray.
I need it.
Now if you'll excuse me I have fluffy pillows
and Yankee-less lamps to unpack.
And I'm meeting the housekeeper today. She just walked in and didn't know where she was. Stay tuned. Film at 11.

Or I'll just wave from above as I drift by in my hot air balloon on the way back to Bloggingham. I'm thinking paisley....

Update: Can someone say over? Perhaps it was my decorating...


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

paisley is very nice mimi. everyone loves paisley. go for it!

smiles, bee

Mimi Lenox said...

Bee - He's not home yet. Do you suppose he got wind of this and is planning his escape?

Morgen said...

mimi - I think he hijacked your blog template via remote or something.
What happened to your sidebar?

As for the debatchelorization, I'm afraid to ask -- does he have any clue you're touching his stuff?


Mimi Lenox said...

Morgen - He does now.

Mimi Lenox said...

Seriously Mo, He did tell me to bring whatever made me feel at home.
I brought paisley.

Dixiechick said...

Good luck with the debatchelorization. I've done that before... it was really fun!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Hi Mimi-

I have just one little question, my love. What THE HELL were YOU thinking? Where's my stuff? The paisley skirts on the microphones is going WAY too far. I gave up paisley when they stop putting them on every damn tie I had.

Geeze. And, no, John Lennon DOES NOT LIKE IT BETTER in my closet.

LUCY!! You got some 'splaining to do!

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

You guys are so funny and sweet. I love your love:-)

Linda said...

Oh my ... paisley? In a former bachelor's pad?

We are definitely going to have to get together for lunch sometime and discuss this! Provided you are still living in Connecticut after this stunt!

Mimi Lenox said...

Maryam....But Bud is not laughing, my dear.

I got some 'splainin to do.

Travis said...

Yup - these things must be handled delicately.

Queenie said...

You are a very brave lady.....
I once tried this, everything I put in the bin, he returned back to where it was and is still there now, I gave up!!!!!!
Paisley is the new black 'BUD'.

Akelamalu said...

Men don't like change! ((wink))

Patti said...

Bud has a studio in his house?
Impressive. I like the idea of the empty chairs just waiting for DJs to arrive and sit in them.

You guys are way cute...

Lizza said...

I kinda understand Bud's protectiveness of his Beatles memorabilia.

But a pencil skirt (who's a queen too, to boot!) should do what she has to do. Paisley away, Mims! What about bathrooms? Do you have carte blanche there?

Bond said...

See now here is your problem Mimi... STAY OUT OF THE STUDIO.... the rest of the place you can do as you please, i know he will not mind... but but but THE STUDIO???? STAY OUT!!!!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - I'm trying to respect his privacy. Really I am.

Mimi Lenox said...

Dixie - It IS fun. he he he

Mimi Lenox said...


I channeled John myself and he said he'd rather live in the closet than cause a riff between the two of us. Ask him yourself if you don't believe me.


Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - But will learn to love paisley. I plan to get a paisly pencil skirt to convince him.

Mimi Lenox said...

Queenie - Will you say that again please? 'Paisley is the new black.....' love it.

I'll make sure Bud reads my comments today. A conspiracy is transpiring!

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - Thanks for the advice too late. I'm doomed.

Patti - Bud would have to have a studio no matter where we lived as I need a piano room. But he's better stay outta there.

Lizza - Today I start on the bathrooms. I'm leaving his alone until he sees what I've done with mine, then maybe I can convince him about paisley. Shh....don't tell. I may even hang a Beatles photo above the sink to make him feel at home.

Bond - Why didn't someone tell me this BEFORE??! My pencil skirt is in hot water.

Odat said...

LOL...Good luck with that! I went thru something similiar before I got married...It took a long time!
I started adding a little color here and there, very slowly...until one day it all came togehter and he didn't notice! hehe

Mimi Lenox said...

Odat - So that's how I do it.

oops. Too late.

Ralph said...

In love, together, and in CT? It works for Patti and myself. If you really have that chair re-covering jones, how about a striped damask fabric? They say love is blind, perhaps Bud would't notice?

Linda said...

Hey Mims, I wasn't sure where else to post this but I wanted to let you know that I have given you an award over at my blog. Hope you can stop by to collect it!

Akelamalu said...

Ooops I think you're in trouble!

Queenie said...

"Paisley is the new black"

Love your music!!

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