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Monday, April 10, 2023

Monday Mimisms ~ Do I Look Like Annie to You??

Three Five Things I Will Never EVER Say to Anyone Again
Who Is Going Through a Hard Time


1.  You are stronger than you know.

Please, for the love of all that is BloLy (that's blog + holy for all you non-blog speakers) 
Let's not tempt the Universe and test that theory.

maybe I need to look in the mirror

2. This too shall pass.

Sometimes it takes a loooooonnnnng time to "pass." In the meantime it's perfectly logical to schedule a nervous breakdown.

3. You've been through worse times than this! 
You can do it!

Bite me.

4. I'm sorry you're sick. 
Are you sure it wasn't caused by stress?

Now you have insinuated that I don't have the strength to soldier through and I'm somehow to blame for my own distress. A double-whammy to my pain. 
                               See #3

5. Tomorrow is a new day.

Thanks. Another day of this???!!

Instead.....
Have a big ugly cry. Throw some things. I tried Velcro curlers but it was so unsatisfying. Shut the bathroom door and cuss in the mirror. If you're not used to cussing you'll start tripping over consonants making up new debauchery! Feels so good. Then you'll start laughing because you can't even cuss right.

Crawl under a blanket or a rock with a bag of Cheetos. Works for me.



Anger. Let's say it. It's there because you're hurting, exhausted, and you want the pain to stop. Call up your best friend. Tell her to bring wine, a Bible, a witch doctor, a Priest, some herb roots, Reiki people, anointing oil from the Nile, snake-handling gloves, a Santana album for dancing and a box of very sinful chocolate. Yep. We're covered.
I have friends who already have bags packed for such occasions.

As for the above well-meaning offenses, I have been guilty of saying all of them.
And I vow to do better.

P.S. I hope this made you laugh

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8 comments:

  1. Oh my God these are so funny ... and true!

    #4 -- My friend Linda used to lay that one on me all the time. She was like a dog with bone. She would OFFER to drive me to an appointment and then tell me whatever I was going for likely wasn't necessary. After all, SHE never went to the doctor. Now I suspect the reality was that I had insurance and she didn't, but she insisted it was because she wouldn't "allow" herself to be sick whereas I was "a puppet of the medical establishment." So I'm a hypochondriac and a fool. Thanks, but I think I'll take the bus. Anyway, Linda is now in cognitive decline. (You may have seen some of her word salad responses to my posts on Facebook.) I know she's struggling and scared. I wonder if her condition has given her a more compassionate outlook on health problems.

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  2. Whoa...I'm so glad you came up with a solution because I've said all of these at one time or another over the years since I've become a compassionate problem solver. I'll be the one with my Bible and box 'o vino. (Boxes travel better.) Anon aka Julie ;)

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  3. Guilty as charged. But I do try to not fall into these cliché sorts. Sometimes it leaves me with nothing to say. Other than “sending strength, love, and support.” You make excellent points.

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  4. Gal - I can't imagine you being a "puppet" of anything. And in true form you are compassionate towards her even though she didn't afford you the same courtesy. Definitely take the bus.

    P.S. Word salad is a funny term.

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  5. Julie - I hope you're doing OK after the car accident! Take it easy if you can. I know that's hard for you to do. Sending prayers.

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  6. Christine - Sometimes saying nothing is the best option. I need to work on that!

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  7. All good strategies for dealing with pain and anger. Writing a funny post works well too!

    Great blog.

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  8. Hello Guy! How nice to have a new reader. Thanks for visiting.

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