Quicksand and Mistletoe ~ A Holiday Card From Me

The Christmas Holiday season is not happy for all. At times in my own life it has been bittersweet. 

Overshadowed by schmaltzy Hallmark Christmas movies, rife with Walton-Family-Like dinners around a flowery table, carols and presents and music and smiles. Christmas. Right.Wrong. For some, just wrong. To me, holidays can be fraught with landmines and quicksand. When I was growing up, the holidays brought long white-tableclothed layers of southern cooking with scores of cousins and aunts and uncles. Tight squeezes in the bosoms of very large aproned women I only saw once a year. "My, how you've grown! Now go take Grandma the baking soda." 
Somewhere in between the sweet banana pudding and Uncle Joe's smelly cigar, there were happy car rides with  Daddy on Christmas lights hunts and Mama (who hated Christmas) throwing hissy fits (it's a southern thing) with wooden spoons full of cherries meant for the meringue pie that landed on the linoleum floor instead.

I learned to dodge.
It also brought worries over money, arguments that kids shouldn't overhear through the bedroom door, and the ever present reality that some adult  somewhere would get too intoxicated or high as the evening progressed and old family scores to settle would ruin the last of the whipped topping goodness in my impressionable soul.Stomach aches. It always happened. 
So be careful when you longingly dream over those perfect Christmas candid shots on Facebook and Instagram. Nobody's family is perfect. Nobody's life is immune to addiction or alcoholism, depression or stress - even when they try to hide behind a filtered screen. Now that I have my own crew of flawed holiday traditions, I see those generational threads of dysfunction pop up occasionally in the midst of mistletoeing and whispered conversations at the kids' table. I hear them. And I remember. 
Children and adults need a safe place to Christmas. Over the years I've managed to re-purpose my unpredictable lineage into happier spaces for my own kids and grandchildren. That's the thing about painful memories. We have the power to change the way we create the future.
Whatever your situation - and God bless you if you are lucky enough to have one of those Walton Family scenes at your address - I DO believe it's a good thing to honor our spiritual and festive traditions, spiritual or secular. But for some, the season is excruciatingly lonely and sad. Pressured in the quicksand, memories rise to the surface. 
 Not everyone will celebrate this day or this season. There won't be a card for them, so I wrote one. 

To All .....
......whose children are not coming home and will never come homeI wish you peace and fragrant memories
...who never knew their father or mother I wish you nighttime visitations in the form of dreamswords and whispers in your knowing placeto help you understand
...never had a happy childhood ChristmasI pray you make your own holiday so beautiful and full of wonder as an adulton your own terms, in your own way, wholly and deeply meaningfuljust. for. you.
To All...who live with abuse, chronic illness, poverty or griefI wish you strengthin leaving,  strength in staying, strength in rememberingwisdom and abundance and self-care

And if you are alone

I hope the Spirit of Christmas makes you rich with palpable joy with NEWNESS and anticipation (!) 'til it bubbles over right down to your socksmelted like hot chocolate that lost its cupand keeps you warm at night
Know that life is full of wonderful peoplejust waiting to know who you are

To All ...whose children will call from jail or rehabI wish you calm in the midst of your fear
....who children are sick and in need of a miracleI wish you words to pray and an audience with your Maker
To All.......who felt as though an alien ship dropped you into the house of your birth parentsmay you learn to parent yourself with the kindness and insight that comes from loving YOU and then give that gift to your own children may the cycle be unbroken
To All whose homes are silentwhere no none speaks but in angerMay you only speak in loveor not at all

To All....whose empty nests are emptier than they'd hopedI wish you years of bringing your parenting to a new level where letting go feels like flying
To All...whose families live far far awayI wish you warm breezes that speak of hugs
To All.......whose children will sleep in a car tonight, under a bridge, or in a shelterI wish that you will only see the quiet adoration in the trusting eyes of your childand that every star in the cold night sky leads you HOME 

To All .....whose time is shortI wish you arms of Love and whispers of the God-kindso that your family will never be alone and you can leave in peace
And to All..who hear "I love yous" but know it's just an annual Christmas ruseI pray you speak loving fire that burns and pierces and calls for nothing in return but truth 
To All...

whose child became a casualty of addiction or mental illnessI wish a reunion with a healthy child
To All who knows not where your Loved One is tonightI wish a phone call
If your fresh-faced child fights in a warI wish an end to the insanity and a laying down of arms
And To All..whose arms are empty today for whatever reasonI wish a visitation
of peace

Follow Me

Join us for Blog4Peace Nov 4

Like Our Facebook Page

Peace Store