Monday, January 24, 2011

Monday Mimisms ~ I Need A Lumberjack. And Fast.

Happy Monday!
I just looked out the window. It is dreaaaarrrry with a capital D. No leaves on the trees. Brown grass on the ground. Mutilated baby leaves strewn about. I can now peek through the woodsy wilderness to see large downed trees and logs lying on the ground leaving empty spaces and holes in the architecture of walled bark I called My Bloggingham. Depressing. Who is going to remove all those ice-ravaged trees? A man with an axe to grind would be a welcome sight about now.
A balmy 15 degrees greeted me this morning when my tender Queen feet hit the bedroom floor.
I am sick of cold weather. SICK of it.

Much to my delight, we are expecting yet another snowstorm in the next 24 hours. 
Let me clarify what a snowstorm means in the South.

Snow + storm = Disaster
Snow + storm = 0 food in the grocery store
It doesn't even have to be a storm. If we hear S-N-O-W we think it means storm.

There are no chains on tires here. Lots of ATVs but no salt trucks. We have an abundance of wood stoves and fireplaces but very few bear rugs. Why?  We don't shoot bears in the south, just deer and rabbits and the occasional rabid squirrel.  Everything closes including your local doctor and pharmacy, Meals-On-Wheels, court, prayer meetings, ambulance service is only for real emergencies (not broken nails) and the school football field becomes a crowded Winterfest of makeshift coca-cola sign sleds and potential broken bones. Forget the doctor or ambulance, however, if you need one. It's a helluva day to cancel prayer meetings. Elderly people have to eat peanut butter sandwiches instead of hot meals and nobody NOBODY owns more than one hat *(except moi)*... I get funny looks in the produce aisle wearing black Russian fur let me tell ya. Prissy Yankee woman, go back home!
I hear the jabs.

Why do Southerners rush out to buy milk and bread anyway? When the power goes out in an ice storm the milk goes bad. Seems to me that non-dairy Cheetos would be a better choice.

I intend to wrap myself up like the snow bunny I am and sit this one out.
I'll be wearing my black hat.  
Smirk if you must.


Speedcat Hollydale said...

I have a flannel shirt ( your fav ) and a big axe.

Mimi Lenox said...

**Queen is blushing underneath the hat**

What color is the flannel.....???

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I sent you a pitchah

dawn said...

Here's a tip... put your milk outside in the snow if your power goes out... lol

not smirking.. nope. not.

Mimi Lenox said...

Speedy - And I responded. I may have to change my opinion on flannels.

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - You are so smirking!! I saw that. **milk** snow** got it.

Don't you like my hat? I got it in my favorite antique store ya know..

Akelamalu said...

We can't cope with snow here either Mimi. :(

I hope you don't get it bad over there because whatever you get we inevitably get 6 weeks later! :(

Charles Gramlich said...

Sometimes it's so hot in our house these days I have to step on the back porch just to get a breath.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Time to move south! LOL

Ferd said...

Time for some hot chocolate! :-)

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - I will try to use southern voodoo to stop it. I don't know what southern voodoo is but I think I can cook some up. Might as well learn how to cook something of use.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - Too much wood on the stove?

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - You can say that again.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Do I look as if I'm smirking? Don't answer that!

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