Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Mountains Moved After Midnight

It's not what you think O Bloggy People.

After months of dealing with an Internet service provider whose technical department ranks right up there with the likes of those who don't know their...never mind....*breathe, Mimi, breathe*

I am tired of seeing this.
I am tired of talking to the same people over and over again.
I am tired of phoning them more than I call my own mother.
I am tired of apologizing to said service people because my fuse got so much shorter than my skirt.
I am tired of getting a completely different story about why my connection is weak EVERY SINGLE TIME I call.
I'm done.

So today when for the 5,398th time they told me AFTER sending a technician physically out to Bloggingham, after installing a new antenna, after sending a new device, after creating three work tickets that NO ONE followed up on.....**breathe, Mimi, breathe** has been declared that my problem is "terrain" and "trees" and not their ability to serve everyone during peak hours - for which I am graciously paying a'plenty for.

"Your problem is terrain. And trees, ma'am."
"I see.....terrain. And trees."
"Yes ma'am."
"Uh...sir....I have a much faster connection after midnight."
"You do?"
"Yes. I can zip zip zip fly through my work."
"After midnight you say?"

"Yes. After midnight. I have more signal bars after midnight."

**tapping fingernails and glaring into the computer screen."

"What about early in the morning? What then, ma'am? Do you have a good connection then?"

"I wouldn't know that, sir."

"I'm asleep from staying up half the night doing my work because it's the only time I can stay connected."

"Oh. I apologize for that ma'am."

"'s the terrain you say, O Brilliant Technological Wizard?"

"Yes ma'am. I hate to be the one to tell you this but we're not going to be able to provide you with adequate service because of the mountainous area you live in."

"I see."
'"That's amazing, sir. Just amazing."

"Why is that, ma'am?"

"I was never aware that mountains could move after midnight."

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Christine said...

I must admit that I did click on your post to see just how the mountains moved for you and then after reading and laughing my way to the end, I see...
I am sorry about your computer woes. But you do write a very funny post.

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

Feel better now?
You're very funny when you rant!

From someone on dial up... you have my deepest sympathies :(

coopernicus said...

where do you live...Mordor??? (yes, it's answer expected)

So what happens when the moon is full? or it's low tide? or the parking meters expire? or the loch ness monster rears it's ghostly head????

bazza said...

Oh, you can be really cheeky when you want to.
I love the picture of your log cabin!

Charles Gramlich said...

Geeze. we lose our satellite when it rains but at least we don't have moving mountains.

Mimi Lenox said...

Christine - Hah! I knew that title would cause a stir. Hope the laughter eased your disappointment in the details of my love life. (wink)

Dawn - I DO feel better. It just had to come out ya know>?

Coop - What happens with the stars twinkle and the water boils and the crackers've started something here.

Bazza - No one ever accused me of having too little sarcasm.

Charles - When it rains it's even worse!!

Patti said...

We have probs when it rains...our kids have called AT&T numerous times for us.

They can explain and understand this stuff better than we.

The men arrive. They say something. They reassure us. They tell us it is because of the wind, the rain, the full moon. They leave. Sometimes it works better.

The End.

And yes, your title did bring me to see you again. I've not been visiting blogosphere folks. Just can't keep up with life.
Hope you are having fun in your tree house. Looks cozy.

Mojo said...

I didn't really think of Bloggingham as "mountainous". "Hilly", yes, to be sure. But when I think of "mountainous" I think of... places much further west.

Travis Cody said...

They really think that when we put 2 and 2 together, we come up with 3,471 and a half. And then when we actually show them that we have 2 oranges and 2 apples, and when we put them together, we count 4 pieces of fruit, they look at us indulgently and pat us on our heads, and tell us they are very sorry but there will be no pudding for dessert.

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