I've seen some asteroids in my time...but apparently I won't see one today, as famously predicted by Yours Truly.
Could this be a massive cover up job by the Big People?
A stellar team of NASA scientists ciphered the deliverance of a small asteroid to Mother Earth some time ago. I took note. I'm proactive like that. My nails are done. The coffee is brewing. I changed my will. I'm as prepared as any pencil skirt can be.
Alas. It is old news and future news.
Nevertheless, I am on watch.
I'm on it. I won't let you down.
Neither rain nor snow nor falling asteroids from Congress and oil spill management - you know, the BIG people - can stop me from scooping the story of the century.
And how do I know this prediction is true? How do I know in my news gut it will happen TONIGHT??
Here's proof positive hot off the presses of my very own computer.
Something is definitely amiss in the atmosphere. Either that or I sent out too many peace globe invitations on Facebook last night. Leave it to the "small people" on Twitter (that would be us) to ignore the biggest non-story since sliced garlic bread sitting in our offices and homes wringing our keystroking hands with nothing to do but pray to the Twitter gods while an asteroid barrels toward Earth. People at the World Cup might actually watch.
I told you. You heard it here first.
Asteroid image: Wikimedia.org public domain