Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Thirteen Things I Actually Said Out Loud Today

Brace yourself. This is Pencil Skirt at her worst.

1. Why is there a pizza cutter in my glove compartment?

2. Unless you're dying, don't tell me.

3. This is perfect! But it’s burnt.

4. Why are my sunglasses in the birdbath?

5. Act like you've got some sense!

6. Did I just see a frog jump over a crocus?

7. Can I hide out in here? I won't stay long.

8. What about NO do you NOT understand?

9. If you text me one more time I'm gonna scream.

10. Did the phone ring in the shower?

11. I could never date a man who wears a crown. (I kid you not!)

12. I am not a waitress!!!

13. I hear they're having a special on respect at WalMart.
You might want to purchase some before tomorrow.

And which one of you keeps texting me???! 1-800-Bloggingham is jammed from the shores of the North Atlantic to the South Pole exit 179. I am not amused.
I'm expecting a call from the North Pole. So cut it out. It's a call I must take.

Santa needs a new lap sitter.

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Mojo said...

I swear it wasn't me! Honest! May my texting thumbs be broken if I lie.

But... uh... why is there a pizza cutter in your glovebox?

My word verification is "askia" so I naturally had to askia. Right? (No I'm not kidding... I have a screen capture if you'd like to see.)

Travis said...

Well, obviously the pizza cutter is in the glove box because pizza delivery guys drive cars.

But why ARE your sunglasses in the birdbath?

Tom Eagerley said...

Two things I said today:
"OK, nobody move or the kitten gets it!"
"But, bartender, I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"

Charles Gramlich said...

The one I'm most curious about is the pizza cutter in the glove box. It wasn't in there with like some twine and duct tape eh?

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Where else would you keep your pizza cutter?

Good thing I blocked my number before those text messages..I mean..how bad is it that someone keeps sending you text messages - yeah that is what I meant

The Gal Herself said...

Is there a connection between the frog leaping over the crocus and the glasses in the birdbath?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A new lap sitter? Ho, ho, ho!

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - I knew it wasn't you but seriously, enough is enough.

I don't know about the pizza cutter.
I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with the pizza cutter murders in my area. They involved anchovies. I hate anchovies.

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - But I don't know any pizza delivery guys except the one who actually last delivered a pizza here for Baby Boy. WHY would he put the cutter in my car???!!

The glasses I figured out. I put them there on my walk and forgot about them. Duh.

Mimi Lenox said...

Tom - Somehow that does not surprise me.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - I knew it!! I need to join the witness protection program. And fast.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - I know your area code. Oh but wait. You've been away on business. Aha!!
The plot thickens...

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - There is a connection to all of it. The frog, the crocus, the cutter, the car, the no word....Complicated!!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-Luc - Well....

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