Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The What Not Meme ~ Not That I Have Any Experience With That

Welcome to the Queen's Tuesday Meme #31

Sometimes silly.
Sometimes serious.
Always fun!
Step out of the box.
Be creative.
Use your imagination.
No one's answers are quite like yours

People are always giving advice on what NOT to do in this situation and that situation. I’ve had it with the know-it-alls this week. I’ve switched it up.
It’s your turn to be the expert. Answer what NOT to do in the following situations. It’s your spin on potential societal blunders (and a few quirky scenarios you might find yourself in). You didn't think I'd leave my quirk home now did ya?
Have at it.

What NOT To do when you’re…..

1. On a first date

Tell him you have a blog. (not that I have any experience with that)
See question #22
OR talk about your ex. Pretend you just escaped from nunnery.
It’s safer to talk about the sex lives of nuns than your ex.

2. Intoxicated
I can count on one finger the times that has happened. So I’ll hazard a guess and say….drive.

3. In the shower

4. At your ex’s wedding
Talk about your ex. Pretend you just escaped from the winery.

5. In jail
Talk about your ex. Just pretend he is in a witness protection program.

6. Being stalked
Tell someone you’re being stalked. It’s usually the stalker.
Not that I have any experience with that.

7. Stuck to an igloo
Forget to file your taxes. You could be there a while.

8. In sewing class
Forget that pesky nine stitch. It's really annoying to have to unravel an entire afghan just to sew the 10th one to save time.

9. Asleep in a helium balloon

10. At a birthday party for twins
Go cheapo and give one twin the actual gift and the other twin the batteries

11. On a nude beach
Cover it with sand. Maybe it likes being nude.

12. At the opera
Fall asleep. **note** This actually happened to my dad. He fell asleep in the first act of Gianni Schicchi. He told me he woke up to see me perform in the 2nd portion of the performance but I wonder……He looked very rested.
I swear I heard a snore in the intermission.

13. you’re falling in love
Hold back. Life is too short.

14. Low on gasoline in a bad part of town
Get out and stand on the street corner

15. Having a baby
Curse your husband. Not that I have any experience with this. Ahem.

16. On fire
Blow dry your hair

17. Lost at the mall
Leave your car in a towaway zone. Not that I have any experience with this

18. At a single’s dance
Look single.

19. Riding a bike on the Jersey Turnpike
Miss a toll. You’ll be caught for sure!

20. Driving your significant other’s car
Don’t talk about your ex! Voice recorders in those toll booths ya know….

21. Being robbed at gunpoint
Try to reason with the gun

22. Kissing
Talk. I’m famous for that. (Just ask the parking lot kisser. He actually told me to shut up -but it was kinda cute the way he said it) Where did I put that guy anyway? I hope he's not reading this tonight. See question #1.

23. Paying the hotel cashier
Mention the extra pair of socks you found in the bed - that weren't yours.

24. Buying lingerie
Take your mother along

25. Commenting on a blog
If it’s a cute guy don’t pretend you are a real Queen to be funny. Not that I have any experience with this. And for glory’s sake don’t mention someone stole your diaries. It comes back to haunt you.

26. In Mimi’s dungeon
Don’t try to brainwash Homer with mutiny and escape plans. He tells me everything.
Uh huh. I know about that too.

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jennifer said...

Your answer to #10 is the best that I've read today.

I don't tell ANYONE that knows me in real life that I have a blog. No links on Facebook, no casual mention when I talk to friends. Obviously, I am ashamed of my blogging behavior. So #1 sounds like good advice to me.

Mimi Lenox said...

I did tell him about my blog. What possessed me?? But it's ok. He reads. I don't change me. The day I have to change me is the day I...uh....won't.

But I know what you mean.
I am choosy about it.

There is nothing about you or anything I've ever seen you write or comment ANYwhere that should embarrass you, Jennifer. Oh please.

Anonymous said...

Seems like there is a lot you need to experience (ahem)...

Anonymous said...

For someone with such a lack of experience you have some great advice!

6, 10, 13, 22, 25, 26... :)

mielikki said...

You had me until the Twilight picture....
remind me later to sedate that dog so he isn't talking in his sleep!! I need to lace his baklava with something extra special...
(too late now, but I'll get him next time!!!)

lime said...

uh yeah, i have shared one or two or maybe more experiences too. some of us have to learn the hard way don't we?

Xmichra said...

I would smack Edward. that's all I'm sayin'.

And Homer totally left a message at my blog ;)

The Gal Herself said...

Nude beach. Loved it. Think you are tapping into your inner Groucho Marx.

Bond said...

I tell everyone I have a blog - TWO blogs - AND a blogTALK radio I fail?

Mimi Lenox said...

Coopernicus - Like WHAT??! Just cause I haven't been intoxicated much? Who needs that?

Oh. Maybe you mean something else.
Do tell.

Mimi Lenox said...

Coopernicus - You read my diaries didn't you!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - I had a feeling you'd like those, Missy. (smile)

Mimi Lenox said...

Mielikki - Sedate my little Homer?? NO! Say it ain't so.

Homer The Palace Dog said...

I'm going back under the bed, my Queen. I don't like that Mielikki!

Mimi Lenox said...

Lime - Learning the hard way is my specialty. You too?

Mimi Lenox said...

Xmichra - He might bite you!

I went there. I do not see a message from my little Homer. What did he say? Is he alright? What have you done with him?

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I felt so awful for the beach, ya know?

Mimi Lenox said...

Vinny - No, dear friend, you do not fail. And Monday night's show was incredible!!

mielikki said...

I have not sedated Homer YET.
but he'd be wise to hide under that bed if he tries to get us in trouble, mwaa ha ha
He may not like me now, but he liked me when I was feeding him Baklava!!!
(a little sedation won't hurt him, I LIKE Homer, he's sweet)

FoxxFyrre said...

Hi Mimi,
Was able to play this week, though I had to do it twice.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mielikki - He is still hiding. I can't even get him to come out for Debbie's Weezie...the love of his life!

Mimi Lenox said...

Frank - You did it TWICE? Do I need vodka in my coffee to read this?

Xmichra said...

you didn't see homer? odd. in the mem post, he is there, i assure you.

Terry Elisabeth said...

So many things to not do...I hadn't thought about it until now.

Terry Elisabeth said...

In Queen Mimi’s dungeon : Comment on the decoration, complain about the bed if there is one and ask for a leg of lamb, potatoes and carrots with a chocolate soufflĂ©.

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