Gothic Grandmother

She had a love affair with cigarettes.


My whole life I remember her quitting, starting up again, quitting, smoking, quitting, sneaking them behind the house and then the whole cycle would start again.
At seventy-four, she still smoked.
But let me tell you something about her.

For some reason, when my grandmother put that light to her mouth, it looked sexy. She looked glamarous. Pouty. In control. Intelligent. Purposely coy. Oh, I hated it, the smell, the sickness it caused her, the ashes.....but I knew, also, how much she loved them.
And wigs.
Did I mention the wigs?

One morning I got up early - around 5:30 am - to have breakfast with my grandparents before Papa went off to the furniture plant. Eggs, bacon, homemade biscuits, jam, orange juice and ashes.
In her coffee cup.

She never seemed to notice. They just dropped in there and she kept drinking. I kid you not. I was busy saving her from choking by pouring her coffee down the sink and bringing her a fresh cup of black, the way she liked it. I never said a word. I'd sit the cup down in front of her and she'd light up another and the whole cycle would start again - still having "adult" conversations with my grandfather about what was in the newspaper - a cigarette dangling from her lips and the ashes growing inches and inches long before they fell.
I'm shocked she never set the paper on fire.


That wasn't the only shock I got that morning.
Not only was she doctoring the java with an endless supply of carcinogenic flavor but her hair was gone!
Oh yes. I forgot to tell you about the wigs.
On little mannequin heads all over the bedroom. I should have known she didn't sleep in them but still....my little pencil head wasn't prepared to see such a sight. "I look a fright!" she said.
In hindsight, of course, I know she was right. (sorry, grandmother) But at the time I was fascinated with all the long strands I'd never seen before. I loved her dark hair. But she didn't. Hence, the endless supply of meticulously coiffed heads that scared me in the middle of the night. To a little girl, she looked positively witchy in the mornings.

To my grandfather, she was always beautiful.

And that, of course, is what counts the most.

Inspired by a post at Fish's place.

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

Mimi In A Minute #12 ~ There's Got To Be A Morning After (But There's No Cause For Alarm)

These things keep me up at night.

They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

About Medical Records online:
Doesn't it bother you that pretty soon anyone anywhere and everyone everywhere will know if you've had your shots? Or didn't.
All is takes is one hacker.
We need the HIPAA law......ummmm... why?

To The Blog Police: Get rid of the term "Blog Addicted." Do you say that people are Book Addicted because they read so many books? I think not.

To all 17-year-old girls with the morning-after pill in your hot little hands:
See your local psychologist for the emotional pill you're gonna need. (Or talk to you mama)

U.S. Department of Defense: You flew a plane over lower Manhattan tailed by a fighter jet because you wanted a photo??? You're not bloggers, are ya?
We know how to do these things.

The president declared a US Public Health Emergency last Sunday because of the swine flu. 152 people have died in Mexico, it's now in my own home state and I quote.....it's "no cause for alarm".



















(Note photo below: The 1918 flu pandemic killed 675,000 in US. Pic: Massachusetts)

But remember, there's no cause for alarm.

Has anyone noticed there was no Spring?

I looked at my 401K and became ill. I was informed today that the economy has blessed me with a pay CUT.
I hope there's a vaccine for that.

Google spelled out their header in Morse code yesterday. Or maybe it was some sort of spy conspiracy for the end of the world !!! Pig Latin?




Eureka!! I just figured out how to stop the drug trafficking and gang wars on the US/Mexican border: Move the pig farms from Mexico City to the border, construct a gateway with a "Come on In" sign and tell the drug traffickers they have to smuggle their cocaine and weapons in the bellies of pigs if they want their money.

**Somebody should really hire me at the Pentagon**


To President Obama:
He will speak tonight on the first 100 days in office. He doesn't have a peace globe yet. I'm kinda miffed.

Has anyone noticed that there was no Spring?

And finally....

To the makers of the morning-after pill:
Make a Night-Before-Pill for men that inhibits libido in case someone forgot to bring the birth control.
All problems solved.

Of course, it takes two to tango. Maybe we should just stick to condoms.
I can't believe I said that on my blog.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.

I would like a face mask in pink, please.
If I'm gonna have to wear one I might as well look pretty.
And remember, there's no cause for

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

Sleepwalking with Scissors

The ever pithy and wise Dawn from Newfoundland (the girl cracks me up) writes a blog called Twisted Sister. I don't know why it's called such. I don't think she's "twisted" at all but
I'm way behind on acknowledging awards and tagging. I apologize and promise to do better.
I appreciate all of them very much!

Dawn has bestowed upon me the Honest Scrap Award and I thank her sincerely. She writes.... "The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or 2. Firstly you have to tell your readers 10 things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly you have to tag 10 people with the award."

Thinking....thinking.....ten MORE things that people don't know about me? I spend my life trying to be incognito on the Internet and you want more? And they have to HONEST? Ok. Ok. But I'm not happy about this. You said I had to be honest, Dawn, not cheery.

Ten More Mundane, True, and Unnecessary Pieces of Minutiae About Mimi Queen of Memes

1. I sleepwalk.
My latest faux pas? I put my cellphone in a cereal bowl in the middle of the night.

2. I can't stand it when someone opens and closes scissors and they scrape together. Ewwww!!! Like fingernails on a chalkboard.

3. I once saw a Ghost. Or two. In fact, they were together.
(They're probably divorced by now....bwwahhaa)

4. I realized recently that I drink coffee for the warmth of my hands around the cup, not the caffeine.
It's familiar comfort.



5. I worry about stupid things like....how many minutes have I had my cellphone attached to my ear and was it enough to give me cancer??!


6. I'm trying to hire a new housekeeper. The last one broke things all over the house, "lost" things, chipped antique articles and set off the fire alarm while dusting. And that was only her first day on the job. This time I'm looking for a male housekeeper.....hmmm....! What a great idea! I'm so glad I did this meme! It has opened up my thinking processes. What shall we name him? Mimi's Hired Hunk? Sven?

7. I truly hate NASCAR but I love love love to drive.

8. I hyperventilate when I have a shot or have blood drawn. Have been known to flat pass out I can't even watch someone else being stuck with a needle. I'm such a baby.


9. I make up my bed as soon as I get out of it - except when I'm sleepwalking.
Go figure.

10. My IQ is ridiculously high in the Abstract Thinking category. This explains why I can envision a global peace plan but can't find my car keys.
11. I am not a "cat person" unless you belong to the Cat Blogosphere - then I adore you. And I'm beginning to think Homer is real.

I royally tag.....
Gal @ One Gal's Musings
Katherine @ Wading Through My Stream of Consciousness
Debbie @ Through Thick and Thin
Mojo @ Why? What Have You Heard?
Mike @ My Webbed Feat
Julie @ Julie's Jewels & Junque
Lee @ Tarheel Ramblings
An Eerie Tapestry
Ricardo @ Unloaded
Nick @ Nick's Bytes

Go forth and meme.

I'll be back tomorrow with an explanation for the Swine Flu.

Goodnight Homer.

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

Monday Mimisms: I Love It When a Day SideQuacks

Somewhere between stopping to get a fruit yogurt with granola and visiting my dad on Sunday, I got derailed. One turn of my head down Route 66 and the car turned around on its own. Follow me.......




I found some rocks to walk on.

A park

A nature trail

There were ducks.
And picnickers.....
Dogs on leashes and owners with treats





Trees with beautiful curves

Branches looking vainly in the mirror

See those ducks in the middle of the branches below?
He's proposing.
I just know it

Do you love me? he asked.
You and only you.

I nearly fell in while eavesdropping

Flowers begging to be picked

A few ducks and swan swam by
Mr. Mallard too.....The Camel tree spoke up a time or two

I ventured out on these....almost to the other side

I hid under dark and lovely limbs

Toes that don't belong to duckswalked on top of mirrored branches

and a girl in the water

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

Peel The Orange, Just Peel The Orange

While visiting my dad last week, my sister had this conversation with him.
He is in his favorite chair all leaned back after having the sugar low from hell, weak as water, with an oxygen tank hose all over the chair - but feeling a little better.

Sis: How about a nice orange, Daddy? I see a nice one in the fruit basket.
Daddy: Yeah. I believe I could eat an orange.
Sis: Great! Let me get one for you.
Daddy: I think I will eat me an orange! (with super-hero strength words, he said)
Sis: Give me just a minute. I'll peel it for you.

He raised up in the chair and said,
"I'll peel it."

Sis: But I don't mind peeling it for you.
Daddy: That's awful kind of you, Sis but....
Sis: I don't mind, Daddy.
He looked at her with that because-I-said-so look and nearly shouted,

"Bring me a knife. The day I can't peel my own orange will be the day I die!!"

He ate every morsel.
Take that, diabetes.


image: public domain


Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

We're A Twibe

My great-grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee. She knew about tribes, but I don't think this is what she had in mind. I hope she understands, wherever she is in that great tribal union in the sky.

Our BlogBlast Facebook Cause is now over 500 members strong and most of them are newbies. Who knew??! The power of the internet. Who knew??!
And yet, this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
The next logical step was to Tweet it. I just figured it out and I've been tweetin' all over God's creation.

To join the PEACE Twibe on Twitter. Click

To join the BlogBlast For Peace Twibe on Twitter, click

Feel free to do both.
And then Re-Tweet, Re-Tweet, Re-Tweet!

Doesn't it feel good to be a Twibe?

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.