Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, Go In There

I blew into into work beebopping with a bit of sag in my swag. Long week. Lots of extra stuff to do. I needed a restful weekend. I got to work early, no less, and headed for the lounge for a nice hot cup of industrial generic brand coffee and a half cup of French Vanilla cream to start my day.
Hand on the door knob.
Purse slung over my shoulder.

"STOP!" Someone shouted. "Don't go in there."
The two ladies looked at each other and grinned.
"Maybe we should tell her."
"We have to tell her."
"You tell her."
"No, you tell her."
"She should know."

I dropped my briefcase to the floor thinking that somebody had died in the break room, or worse, the budget cuts nightmare came true and we all lost our jobs.
"What? Tell me! Whaaaat?"

"There's a mouse in there."


"We knew you'd feel that way."

"How do you KNOW??" I asked.

"Because the big fat thing pregnant with rat babies ran out from under the cabinet directly underneath the coffee pot and I had to jump on the couch screaming," said my friend, with a hint of hyperventilation.

It was contagious.

Finally. Somebody with some sense.
Isn't that what everyone does when they see a mouse?

"Blasted! Blasted! Blasted!" Maybe if I turned around and went home no one would notice. Oh. Security cameras. I forgot.
And BABIES? Baby rats?

I put my head in my hands. "A job loss would be worse!" I said.
I felt the beginnings of a massive faux-migraine coming on and a Scarlett O-Hara fainting spell.
Where's the couch?
Oh. Right.
It's in the lounge.

How am I supposed to put on a good faint without a couch for Heaven's sakes?

And I needed coffee!

By this time my true blue friends were giggling and snickering. Why are they laughing? I am not trying to be funny here. This is serious!

"How much am I gonna have to pay one of you to go get me a cup of coffee?"

"You know she's not going in there."
"I am not going in there."
"You go."
"No. You go."
"YOU go."
"OK. I'll go," said the hyperventilating screamer and then,
"Maybe I'd better not go."

I was not amused.

So being the kind friends and colleagues they are, they found a cup and went INTO THE HORRIBLE RAT-INFESTED PLACE and brought me a cup of java. Complete with a half cup of French Vanilla cream.

There's just one problem.
How am I gonna eat lunch?
You don't really think I'm going in there do ya?

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.


Fragrant Liar said...

I love the picture you put up for this post. Hysterical. Yeah, about those rats, I'd have to go home until it was safe to return. Ick.

Mimi Lenox said...

Fragrant - Tomorrow I must return. I will see if the dreaded thing has been captured and shot.
If not, it's back to bribing people to get my coffee.
Or threaten 'em with the dungeon.

P.S. I purchased the photo from Fotolia. I loved it!

Charles Gramlich said...

I keep getting some weird error message that locks up your blog after about fifteen seconds. About all I got to see was the windblown pic. Pretty funny.

I've been getting the same error message elsewhere too so it's not you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - Sorry to hear that. The Blogger spooks have been about for a week now. Hopefully they'll clear it up soon.

Anonymous said...

Oh no a rat in the Queen's area...heaven forbid...eery thought of a Mr. Coffee for your office ?? Too funny this was :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Thom - Yes, but it's against OSHA code to have a coffee maker in your personal space. But it's not against OSHA code to have a rat in the lounge.

Go figure.

Akelamalu said...

There is N.O. W.A.Y. you would get me in that room! Forget the coffee from the lounge take a flask! :0

Mojo said...

I'm actually surprised you were even willing to drink the coffee from in there. No telling what the little buggers got into, after all.

Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up.

Bond said...

And I bet you never even visit Mickey and Minnie...

Bond said...

And geeeeeeze...I have a Couch!

You can always use my couch!

Mark said...

Sounds like a job for Tom of Tom and Jerry fame.

The Gal Herself said...

I'm confused -- is it a mouse or a rat? I don't know why exactly, but neither strikes horror in my heart. Maybe it's because one of my first role models was Charlotte the Spider (Charlotte A. Cavatica, for you sticklers out there) and Templeton was a great pal of hers (if you discount his attitude).

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - I hear ya!

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - Thanks. What a horrible thought!

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - Of course! Why didn't I think of that?

Mimi Lenox said...

Mark - I wouldn't even watch Tom and Jerry as a child. Why would I now?

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - Spiders? They don't bother me. Snakes? They don't bother me. Mouse. Rat. Anything in between.
Just phobic.
There is no explaining it. I know it's irrational. My brain knows that.
Makes no difference.
I'm still up on the chair screaming.

katherine. said...

hopefully the exterminator will be cute.

rats are not fun in the workplace.

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - I know. You're trapped!

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. The exterminator was not cute. He removed the nasty thing this morning and he wasn't the least bit cute. Double dRATS!!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

It's a bad omen. Just saying. I mean as a long tome fan and reader of Mimi Writes. You and mice do not end well. Hide the babies! Women and children first!!!!!

Travis said...

Oh dear. At least you weren't the one to discover it.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - I hope you're wrong.

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - I'm praying there were no babies before she met her untimely demise in the trap this morning. YYYYUUUUUKKK!!

Anonymous said...

LOL...my typing was horrendous...my sincere apologies...guess it's the animal activists then :)

Ricardo said...

Was the little guy ever found and disposed of?

Mimi Lenox said...

Ricardo - Yes, but he apparently had brothers and sisters!

Ricardo said...

Ah, a happy family!!

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