Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mimi In A Minute #12 ~ There's Got To Be A Morning After (But There's No Cause For Alarm)

These things keep me up at night.
They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

About Medical Records online:
Doesn't it bother you that pretty soon anyone anywhere and everyone everywhere will know if you've had your shots? Or didn't.
All is takes is one hacker.

We need the HIPAA law......ummmm... why?

To The Blog Police: Get rid of the term "Blog Addicted." Do you say that people are Book Addicted because they read so many books? I think not.

To all 17-year-old girls with the morning-after pill in your hot little hands:

See your local psychologist for the emotional pill you're gonna need. (Or talk to you mama)

U.S. Departm
ent of Defense: You flew a plane over lower Manhattan tailed by a fighter jet because you wanted a photo??? You're not bloggers, are ya?
We know how to do these things.

The president declared a US Public Health Emergency last Sunday because of the swine flu. 152 people have died in Mexico, it's now in my own home state and I quote.....it's "no cause for alarm".

(Note photo below: The 1918 flu pandemic killed 675,000 in US. Pic: Massachusetts)
But remember, there's no cause for alarm.

Has anyone noticed there was no Spring?

I looked at my 401K and became ill. I was informed today that the economy has blessed me with a pay CUT.
I hope there's a vaccine for that.

Google spelled out their header in Morse code yesterday. Or maybe it was some sort of spy conspiracy for the end of the world !!! Pig Latin?

Eureka!! I just figured out how to stop the drug trafficking and gang wars on the US/Mexican border: Move the pig farms from Mexico City to the border, construct a gateway with a "Come on In" sign and tell the drug traffickers they have to smuggle their cocaine and weapons in the bellies of pigs if they want their money.

**Somebody should really hire me at the Pentagon**

To President Obama:
He will speak tonight on the first 100 days in office. He doesn't have a peace globe yet. I'm kinda miffed.

Has anyone noticed that there was no Spring?

And finally....
To the makers of the morning-after pill:
Make a Night-Before-Pill for men that inhibits libido in case someone forgot to bring the birth control.

All problems solved.
Of course, it takes two to tango. Maybe we should just stick to condoms.
I can't believe I said that on my blog.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.

I would like a face mask in pink, please.
If I'm gonna have to wear one I might as well look pretty.
And remember, there's no cause for

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Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

Feel better now?
There are 13 known cases of swine flu in Canada as of today... lets see what tomorrow brings.

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - Lots! I didn't know it had spread to Canada. Remember: Whatever you do, DO NOT PANIC!!!

(I'll just be hyperventilating now and on my way....)

Lois Grebowski said...

I'll take a leopard mask, myself. In the meantime, I'll be washing my hands in public whenever I pass a restroom.

Sorry to hear about the paycut.
*le sigh*

Finding Pam said...

Oh my, I can't believe that you said that word on your blog!!!LOL...

No spring? I guess we will go straight to summer.

We have the swine flu in Tx. and some one has died from it according to the news.

I like your idea about the drug cartel and the pigs.

Take care Mimi.

Bond said...

sucks about the pay cut...sorry...now, go wash your hands and make sure you have a condom before you leave

Mimi Lenox said...

Lois - The pay cut was a shock! We are so not happy around here today.

Mimi Lenox said...

Pam - Be safe and don't get sick.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - Taking notes....(smile)

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Did you really say, "Maybe we should just stick to condoms"???


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Hilarious, as always.

As regards swine flu......DON'T PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no cause for alarm...probably.

katherine. said...

the airforce one question about being bloggers was PERFECT!

the flu thing...

In the past six months...at one time or another...my family has visited Mexico. Me, The Teamster, all three of my kids, my ex. And if I had a trip planned this week I would go.

In the USA...about 100 people die of the flu EVERY day. I do not have figures for Mexico or Canada...but I am willing to bet our numbers are better. I realize we have not yet pinpointed a vaccine for this strain of this swine flu. But in our country the overall healthcare is so much better, the people who are of good health will not die. They will have a bad case of the flu no doubt.

The declaration of emergency is merely to get the bureaucracy in place. I put the little bottle of purell in my purse. But I rode the train..and went to the Giants game..where I high fived with about three dozen young chicanos every time the Dodgers were out.

yes...pay attention...
but...don't be alarmed.

Mimi Lenox said...

Southern - Oops. I'm afraid I did. Just keeping it real...

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-Luc - PROBABLY??! What do you know that we don't know, Captain?

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - Thank you! And I do think this flu thing is getting waaaayyyy more airtime than it warrants YET. Having said that, Susie Safety That I Am, I will cover my mouth in public places yada yada and try not to breathe.

lizza said...

Did I just hear a call for a pink face mask?

I'm not sure if it goes with your crown, though.

Stay safe and well, Mims!

Mark said...

Glad you got that off your chest! No alarm needed, the morning after we are still here.

The Gal Herself said...

There are nine reported cases of swine flu here in Chicago. Not confirmed, merely reported. But I'm not too worried. Mayor Daley is on it. I believe, sincerely and with no irony whatsoever, that Mayor Daley can protect us from anything by the sheer force of his will.

The paycut SUCKS! When does it go into effect? I hope they gave you a heads up so you can adjust your budget. And I worry about them. Don't they realize it's unwise to treat royalty so shabbily?

Akelamalu said...

If there's no cause for alarm why do they keep telling us? It's alarming me!

Travis said...

36,000 people die annually from influenza in the US. I'm not fussed about 150 so far.

I feel for the families, but don't panic just yet.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lizza - Do I dare click that link? LOL...

Mimi Lenox said...

Marl- Indeed you are! And I'm so glad!

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - Drinking....

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - Daley is a gem. The paycut was sudden and imminent and not fair. No time to even prepare for it. ARRRGHHH.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - It's alarming me that they are alarming me. Yes!

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - So true. Thanks for the reality check.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lizza Lovely - I want that mask. It's so dramatic!

Lizza said...

And elegantly super-heroic!

Glad you looked at it. I'll always give you a heads-up if a link isn't for general patronage. :-D

Julie said...

I want my face mask in bright yellow--then it won't seem like doom and gloom.

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