Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Mims Is Missing

The Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Things
I Am Missing Right Now Meme

1. Missing a slow dance....missing a tight hug......
Snap OUT of it, Mims. That is no way to start your blog today.
Excuse me, let me rephrase and carry on.

The Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Things
I Am Missing Right Now Meme. Sigh.

1. A blog post (why do you think I made up this stupid meme?)

2. Two fingernails - A BAD BAD BAD day.
One got caught in between C# and D today and flew into the air along with my dignity and the other is anybody else's guess. Both pinkie nails. Just weird. But I hope they'll be very happy together wherever they are.

3. My magic Bleeper - which means anything and everything could come flying out of this blogpen.

Censorship ain't all it's cracked up to be.

4. An earring back from my huge white hoops.
WHY do they make large hoop earrings with itsy bitsy backs?

5. A very personal email about my mother's sister's cousin.. Where, oh where, did it go? Who did I send it to? WHY does this happen to me? Once upon a time, several years ago, I cried about a boyfriend squabble to a close girlfriend in an guessed it.....I accidentally sent it to him. Of course we broke up.
Once you hit send it's gone!!!!! Did you know that?

He lived to tell it and eventually forgave me. He thought it was funny but I was humiliated.
Thank goodness this one wasn't about my love life.
But I do hope my mother doesn't read her email today.

6. Orange jello.
I made a bowl of orange jello last night. Something didn't look right. I was trying to get the last serving of my five fruits and vegetables in for the day. I boiled the water. I poured in the powder. I stirred. Yum. Smells good. I followed the directions on the box to the letter. I mean really. How can you mess up jello?
It won't gel.

I put it in the freezer. It froze around the edges. The middle is still - today - water. So I drank the orange water. Yum. I mean really. How can you mess up orange water?

Footnote: When I say "I cannot cook" I mean I cannot cook. I rest my case.
Here's an actual picture of the last cake I made. See?
That is just sad.

7. My Sarah McLachlan "Mirrorball" CD. My favorite. I loved it so much I bought two so I would have a spare in case I lost one. I know myself so well. Except I now have the cases and no music. Mirrors. Smoke. No Sarah.

8. My appendix, tonsils, and a fine assortment of missing internal organs. They said I wouldn't need all these parts anymore but I'm beginning to wonder.

I used to know how to cook.

9. I'm actually missing a blog. I used to have one more than I do now.
I must have lost it in the divorce. I got to keep my socks. He got the blog.

10. Missing air from my right tire. After a flat Sunday morning and a repair at the local grease station, I thought it was fixed. Not.
The stuff that holds the tire together is starting to leak -sort of like the stuff that holds the jello together. Maybe I should take the jello to the gas station and have them insert the vapors emitting from the rim of the tire into the bowl. It certainly couldn't hurt.
If I could ever get the jello to gel I could use it to plug up the tire.

Some kind of weird karma going on in Bloggingham.

11. More pink socks are missing from the dryer.
I recently discovered Jesus has 'em. He won't give them back.
I asked.

He said he's just trying to look out for my "sole." (He cracks me up.)

12. The cork to the Chardonnay bottle. It usually takes me a year (seriously) to drink a bottle of wine in my house.
But lately I've noticed there is a bit more missing than usual. Does wine evaporate?

Maybe I should ask Jesus.
Maybe not.

13. I am missing any understanding why President Bush today would veto the $35 million budget increase to fund low-income families health care. I may be one blog shy of a jello gell but it doesn't take a pencil skirt to figure this one out.

14. Fourteen dollars and twenty-nine cents from my bank account.
I've spent three days trying to find it. What did I buy online that costs $14.29?
It's driving me crazy.

15. And last but not least. I'm missing three bloggers from the dungeon.

If you escaped, please turn yourself in. I don't have time to find you. I'm still looking for the air in my tire.

You don't think the fingernail is in the jello.

Do you?

Note: Life has been crazy crazy busy this week. Parts of this post were reprinted from September 2007. I will percolate a fresh post on Friday. I took the day off and will be sleeping in tomorrow morning. Have a great Thursday night. Sleep tight.


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

well i'd eat that cake. just so you know... ha ha ha

smiles, bee

Stacey @Real World Mom said...

Mimi, you are too funny! I agree with Empress Bee, your cake looks yummy to me!

Kuanyin said...

Very funny--especially #13!

Akelamalu said...

I think you've lost it Mimi! LOL

Hope you had a great day off. x

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I'm with Empress Bee. I'd eat the cake too. I love German Chocolate cake. That is what that is isn't it? If not then I'll pass.

Your fingernails could be in the jello. You crack me up. Anyone can make jello Mimi. Really honey.

Do you bank on-line? If so you should be able to find the missing money. Just saying.

You have a great Friday. See if you can round up all the missing stuff. :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Bee - Trust me. You don't want to eat that cake.

Stacey - See previous comment.

Kuanyin - Thank you! Glad you enjoyed.

Akelamalu ...."lost it.." ha ha very funny. And I lost it a long time ago. Haven't you noticed?

Sandee - I took the day off. I'm busy losing more stuff!

Bond said...

I orchestrated the breakout...but will be floating a brown bottle on Monday

Mimi Lenox said...

Vinny - I knew it was you!

Linda said...

Perhaps the bloggers broke out of the dungeon because you tried to feed them that cake and the Jell-o that wouldn't gel? It's a possibility!

Sanni said...

Ooooh... your sock monster and my sock monster might be related. It´s always the pink socks that are missing *sigh*

I want some cake, too... pretty please!

Patti said...

I think Linda is definitely on to something...between that greenish cake and that orangeish liquid Jello to wash it down, all I can say is Yuck.

I'm no cook, but I might be a better one than you, your highness.

Just sayin'

Travis said...

Vinny's an honest meme-law breaker, isn't he?

But I have a question (that might get me tossed into that dungeon).

If the jello won't jel, then isn't it just -lo?

Julie said...

What's funnier....your comments or your post....oh's always a riot here. Or very thought provoking, my dear.

Did you ever hear Jack Nicholson's rant on "sock heaven"? Only Jack...only Jack.

Cogitator said...

That's a *cake*?? I'm impressed. It looks like it's made from ingredients that Shrek would enjoy :)

Link Within

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...