Friday, March 14, 2008

Meditating In The Shower

Day Four of the Mimi Makeover here in Bloggingham and I am running out of time. It's 11:00 pm and I should be asleep by now but no....what am I doing? Cooking soup. Yes. Really.

I realized time was my enemy today so I thought, Why not kill 2 birds with one stone? The recap: Exercise was good today (1 hour of power walking, 30 minute TaeBo workout and 50 situps, no weights), food intake was iffy (a ham and cheese sandwich with mayo, 2 oranges, grapes, 10 wheat thins, pineapple cottage cheese), sleep last night was terribly short, 3 water bottles (which is 3 short of my goal) and then it hit me that I wouldn't have time to do the quiet time because I'm in the middle of cooking up a stomach ache storm. And I needed a shower anyway......

Perfect place!

And aquatic.

I only realized when I started to swallow soap that I was breathing a little too deeply in there.

But back to the soup. Tonight I'm cooking a specially blended concoction known simply as The Soup Diet For Dummies. You're supposed to lose 10-17 lbs in 7 days if you stick to the plan and it acts as a "cleansing agent" for your body. The more soup you eat the more you will lose. Perfect! I only need to lose 7 lbs so this should be a piece of cake. Perfect! The recipe didn't look too difficult. Curry, parsley, veggies, bouillon, etc etc. But what do I know? I know what you're thinking. What possessed me to choose this little experiment knowing I had to cook first?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Nevertheless, here are the ingredients. This is what they looked like before I put them in the pot. My cooking is usually unrecognizable after it's done so I thought I'd better photograph the evidence in case somebody died.
You will tell the coroner, won't you? In case it's me?

Onions and pepper..... Carrots to wash and peel......
It only took me 3 hours to make a pot of soup.

But by golly instead of blogging I was unclogging (as in arteries).

Then I got stuck. "Boil ten minutes fast." Faster than what? How much faster can ten minutes be? Let's just skip that part. Recipes can be so dumb.

But no matter what I did the water would not evaporate. It is supposed to evaporate....right? ONE HOUR later it still looked the same. Soggy carrots happily boiling like mad. I tried putting it in the microwave but that didn't work either. I ended up draining the water OFF the veggies and dumping all the other ingredients in the pot. But the pot - as you can see - was too small.


Don't say it. This is where a little planning would have come in handy. I know. But I've been busy holding court with Billy Blanks in my living room, pretending that Dansani water bottles are filled with Chardonnay, and finding God in the shower.
I have no time to buy a pot.
After setting off the burglar alarm by dropping the can opener in the kitchen floor which caused me to run screaming through the house to shut the blasted thing off before it woke the dead which caused me to brush past the Worcestershire sauce bottle and knock it over spilling dark sticky stuff all over the floor
which caused me to naturally run right back through it to retrieve the can opener and stuck my hand in the mess which stained my new nails and in the flash of thirty seconds I start to remember why I'd rather eat Cheetos and die happy than live a long life with this healthy disaster. I can't get to bed because I'm too busy cooking real food!

I put the tomatoes, green beans, soup powder and bouillon cube in and said goodnight to the crockpot - which hasn't been used since I made chili for my ex-boyfriend's breakfast. He was not amused. Neither am I now.

Finally. Here I sit ready to turn out the lights and sleep for 7 hours just so that I can check "slept 7 hours" off my list tomorrow. And I thought this was supposed to make my life simpler? Here's the simple truth: This concoction better be good because tomorrow I can only eat the soup I made and some kiwi fruit.

What was I thinking??!

What posted on Mimi Writes one year ago today? Ten Ways To Kill A Mouse: The Saga Continues


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i thought soup was SUPPOSED to have liquid in it... hence: soup! i think you threw out the wrong part honey but thanks for the laugh!

smiles, bee

Patti said...

wiping tears from my eyes .... this post is just hysterical, Mimi. Truly.

"my cooking is usually unrecognizable after it's done"

hahahahaha - good idea to photograph the ingredients, Mimi -

Mimi Lenox said...

Bee - It still looks weird this morning. I've been cooking it all night long in the crockpot. I'll put in more liquid. Do you think it's too late?

Patti - Maybe I should start a cooking show. I'll ask Rachel Ray if I can come on her show for an interview. She never makes soup.....

Travis said...

That receipe should have said "bring to a rolling boil and then boil for 10 minutes". That makes more sense.

You might do better with Campbell's.

I hope it tastes ok!

Travis said...

Or maybe some Healthy Choice...Campbell's can have a little too much sodium.

Linda said...

Good grief - you're going to lose that seven pounds running around like a mad woman while trying to make soup. And yes - soup does have to have liquid in it in order for it to be "soup". {{Smacks head}} What are we going to do with you??

Oh, and when you're done having your affair with Billy Blanks, you've been tagged!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Okay what were you thinking? That stuff you tried to serve me at breakfast was NOT chili. I like chili. Even in the morning. What you concocted was better used as cement. Remember the brick bar-b-que I built? I used the left over chili.

I'm even worse in the kitchen. But why didn't you drain the water and keep stirring until it was evenly cooked? (See I do more than just kill lobsters...)

It sounds overall your new program is working for you. AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLRIGHT!!!!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - But it was so much more fun this way....

Linda - Just because I've tagged does not mean I have to give up Billy Blanks. Does it?

Bud aka Lobster Killer - But the BBQ pit looks so nice I knew my chili had a purpose in this world.

katherine. said...

oh geez....isn't there anyone you can bribe to come over and make the soup for you?

hang in there...keep with the water...

katherine. said...

oh geez....isn't there anyone you can bribe to come over and make the soup for you?

hang in there...keep with the water...

Ralph said...

Mimi, and please don't take this as criticism, but isn't soup about the easiest thing a can or two?

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Yes, the shower is a grand place to meditate—until the warm water gets cold.

Barbara said...

I love soup and I agree that the shower is a fine place to meditate.

Hope you don't mind but I tagged you for a meme at my blog.

Akelamalu said...

My first thought was Mimi - cooking? My second thought was Cooking - Mimi?

I bet you lost 7lb chasing your tail! :)

Moonlitstorm said...

This had me laughing so hard. I could just visualize everthing you wrote happening to me. Great Post!

kathleenmaher said...

Mimi, Remember and remind others: taste is subjective.
However my cooking turns out (and I don't cook often enough for the results to be predictable), I claim that any unexpected qualities are my personal improvisations on the same-ol, same-ol, humdrum dish.
That does not mean anyone, including myself, must eat it all. Appreciate it, find one nice color or flavor and move on to the fruit course.
So, how was the kiwi? It's one of those fruits--it is a fruit, isn't it?--that I sometimes love and sometimes hate. But that may be because a little is supposed to go a long way and when I'm in the mood, I can eat four entire kiwis. Then it takes a while before my kiwi lust kicks in again.

Jeff B said...

I stopped reading as soon as i saw "I'm cooking."

I raced outside and looked for the fire truck.

Link Within

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...