I'm over-inflated. Ballooned. Weighted down.
In fact, it is rumored Mimi Writes is (gulp) "top heavy." Oh the scandal. My blog is over-endowed. Alas, my cups runneth over.
All four of them.
It's time to trim the sidefat and pass the scalpel.
Let's face it. I have a condition known in the medical world as blog hypertrophy - more specifically - with a puberescent lopsided tendency. The left. Unsightly. The cause is generally unknown; except, in this case the presence of spinning globe slides is the likely culprit. How could peace wreak such havoc?
It has come to my attention that my blog is loading VERY slowly. Visitors are getting impatient and leaving the castle before I even have time to let down the drawbridge. People stare and then turn away. Oh the shame. It's embarrassing.
They're throwing their blogcars in reverse and backing out of Bloggingham.
That dog is really getting on my nerves.
As I was saying.....My symptoms are so much worse than I've admitted even to my closest friends. I've been suffering in silence, carrying this heavy load of bloglogs and awards, technorati stats and comment columns. It's all too much for me (!) interfering with my routine activities, disrupting my sleep and now I fear I'm developing a blog-denity crisis. Emergency! Emergency! I quickly called
"The woman needs plastic surgery. "
I was afraid of that.
What are the symptoms?
Do you have the of blog enlargement?
2. Multiple site meter statistics of ZERO seconds on the blog, aka as premature clicking
3. Exponential tagging-for-spite by bloggers who used to be your friends
4. Decline in comment participation or half-baked comments
and the No. 1 tell-tale sign you may need a blog reduction -
5. The boring blog next door is thriving
Don't worry. Blog reduction is a highly successful procedure and you should be very pleased with the results. And if all else fails, there's always general anesthesia and major narcotics to help
I think I need to lie down now.